Closer to Fine

Recently, I’ve been going through some turbulent times involving religion, spirituality, history, and reconciling it all in my head.  Everything I’ve written about magic I believe.  But I’ve also believed in the Christian God and Jesus almost all of my life.  I still pray, “In Jesus’ Name I Pray, Amen.”  It’s automatic, like breathing.  Almost every time—scratch that, EVERY time I get on the highway since the one time I didn’t do this and totaled my car—I say, “Dear God, please protect me, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”  If I’m getting onto 128, I say it three times or more.  Is that praying?  Is that magic?

Can’t it be both?

Think about it: there have been so many different cultures, religions, gods, goddesses, heroes, saints, morals, practices, how can we possibly say that one is correct over the other?  It also seems impossible to say, “Well, they’re all correct.”

What I think I’ve come to believe (but wait a week and it will change) is that somewhere in the midst of all of those beliefs is a connection to something.  I don’t know if it is God, Allah, The Universe, or Energy, but there is something we can connect to if we want to.  Some people tap into it for evil things some for good, some for selfish reasons, some to help others.  Some completely ignore it, or turn to it only in their hour of need.  Some struggle their entire lives trying to tap back into what was so easy as children.

The Key, and the main point in our books, is that you have to possess a strong imagination to connect.  When I was a kid I had no problem whatsoever believing in God.  I could imagine His arms around me and I could feel His light shine through me.  Then I went to college and took World Civ and realized that Christianity is only a small slice of pie on this earth and it killed my ability to believe in the words of men who sought to control the masses.  What about all those other cultures who believe their beliefs so fervently?

From what I’ve experienced, both Christianity and Magic tell you to visualize the outcome you want firmly in your mind and release it into God’s Hands or The Universe.  Both practitioners of magic and prayer have obtained impressive, sometimes miraculous results: because they can Imagine.

In high school, I had no idea where I was going to college, but I could visualize myself sitting in college classrooms.  I managed to get there with pretty much a free ride.  In college, I had no idea how I was going to get to England, but I could very easily imagine myself in Oxford classrooms and drinking in pubs (actually, the pubs were a huge stretch for my imagination!).  I got all of the paperwork and loans taken care of with surprisingly little hassle.  I have no idea how Joey and I are going to get these books published, but I can picture the two of us holding the finished product in our hands and grinning at the camera.  I know it’s going to happen.

As for my relationship with God?  I believe he must exist, considering the vast numbers who worship Him.  Who wouldn’t want a loving, caring God to get your back?  I know I’ve felt the connection to Him, or whatever energy/being it is out there.  When I release my prayer into the wind, I talk to Him, the universe, my personal dragon, Phylquestrial, and I feel slightly closer to fine.

Title inspiration (and relevant topic): Closer to Fine – Indigo Girls

Edward Cullen, Or Why I Hate/Love Myself

First off, let us pretend we didn’t take a two+ month hiatus from blogging.  We shall wipe the slates clean (as we have done SO MANY times before), and we will forge on with our new found vigor.  As for the business pointed at in the title to this post, well, if you haven’t yet been exposed to the Twilight “phenomenon,” then you’re in for a crash course on the hero.

So, Edward Cullen is a tallish, semi-muscular teen heart-throb vampire.  He excels in obsession, stupidity, with a steamy pile of chauvanism to boot, but, even I have to admit, these elements combined create a hawt character.  The fact is dwarfed by how many times Meyer tells us this fact through Bella’s narrative, but I’m not here to rag on Stephanie Meyer … not today. (We love you Meyer.  We really do.  Especially Rhiannon, but I love you too.  I mean, I’m reading them a second time now.)  Conversely, I consider myself.  A not tallish–by any standard–semi-ghetto booty’d twenty something novelist, who excels in inventing words, fancy grammar, and stories.  On the surface, we are nothing alike.

It’s upstairs (in the brain) where we currently correlate … to my great shame, amusement, and luck.  I’m not sure if I am quite there yet, and I won’t use Meyer’s words, but I’ve been hit just as hard as Edward was when he first saw/glared at Bella.  I’m afraid that is as clear as I’m going to get in this post.  We’re getting more private than I usually get, and since it involves another (who might not want this information published all over the internet), that is as far as I dare speak about it to you all.

Another giveaway clue: I’ve written another poem.  Or, I’ve started writing another poem.  I have the first draft done, and a couple ideas floating around for ways of cleaning it up and making it something worth reading.  Every word counts in a poem … and the fact I am THAT motivated to work on the poem … surprises me.

In other news (haha), we finished the rough draft!

“Yeah, a month ago!”

More like 19 days ago.

“Same thing.”

Yep.  We’re excited (and that was all Joey, for those of you who were curious, Rhiannon has had nothing to do with this post … unless you count the Rhiannon in my brain … since we share one.  Yeah).

23 chapters, 600ish pages, 132,000+ words (sorry about the non-exact number, I’m writing from my sister’s place tonight).  It took us just over nine months, and it was one hell of a term.  We had a book, and it’s … well, it needs to go back in the oven for a couple more months, but don’t all babies work that way?

*Ducks as the Mom’s of the world descend upon me*

“ALL BABIES ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!”

Happy Mother’s Day!

*Enables [White-Out Ability] which casts a veil of invisibility over the user for one hour and flees from battle*

Yeah, sorry about the silly mood.  It’s part of that Edward Cullen thing.  I feel like I can be more myself.  I feel like I WANT to be more myself.  Part of that involves putting myself out there.  Exposing how I really feel … not only to those I’m close to, but to everyone.  I want to share how good I feel.  I am NOT willing to do that at the disregard of others’ feelings though … but I had to write about this today.

Hasta la pasta, for now.

P.S. We dive back into writing on the 13th of May.  Why?  It’s the new moon, and what better time to start growing the book than when the MOON starts growing?

The Invigorating Cold

So I woke up this morning and was rather thankful I didn’t have to go into work until two o’clock.  The weatherman warned about cold, and when I woke up, and saw the crystal clearness of the sky new it’s beauty had to come with a catch.  It had to be freezing.  Happy I was to not be going out in it.

Ha ha! Sayeth the universe.  I was out the door and on my way to the grocery store.  My cupboards nearly bare of easily prepared foods.

Pulled on my coat, gloves, and earmuffs, then I lowered my head to the wind and speed off in the chill.  About halfway to the store my eyes made it skyward–they so often do–and I saw, again, the crystal blue of the sky.

In that moment I was awake.  The cold livened my sensed and I had no thought.  There was just me, and the beauty of the day.  The cold facilitated my appreciation.  It woke up every part of my physical body, making me completely aware of my connection to everything around me.

Does anyone else out there have these personal realizations about being connected to your surroundings?  I want to hear your stories!

Revenge of the Witch | The Last Apprentice Book 1

The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch

by Joseph Delaney

I was in Barnes and Nobles the other day, and they have this display up for the holidays where they’re asking you to donate a book to a kid for Christmas.  What you’re supposed to do it pick up a bookmark, which has the first name and age of a child.  Then you get a book, stick the bookmark in–pay for the book–and they send it to the kid.

I wasn’t intending to donate a book, but I wanted to get a closer look at the bookmarks.  The first one I pick up if for: Joseph age 14.  Immediately I think to myself, what would I choose to give my fourteen year old self to read.

Destiny was set in motion; I had to find the perfect book for this boy Joseph.  I started with kids classics.  I wanted to give the kid something great to read.  Then I thought about it from his/my fourteen year old self’s opinion.  The classics became uninteresting.  So, since the kid was a teen, I went over to the teen books.

After about a half hour of gazing futilely at oceans of sappy teen-romance, an over abundance of varying vampire series, and a cornucopia of emo fiction; I find this book–the first book in the section that visually appears worthy.  I pick it up.  I love the dark style of the art.  I read the back of the book, scan through the novel, and take one last look at the cover.  It was then I noticed the author’s name.  Joseph Delaney.

That was that.  To a Joseph, from a Joseph, by a Joseph.  I grabbed a copy for Joseph age 14 and one for myself–I had to read the book now too.  And to the Joseph age 14, if you ever happen upon this website, I hope the book turns out to be as great a read it looks!  Here’s to our shared adventure.

Chapter One: A Seventh Son

Nice set up about a cowardly boy.  This is going to be a tale about finding yourself.  It also has the potential for some really interesting magic scenes.  Me likies.  Although, I’ve read about the whole seventh son of a seventh son before in Terry Pratchett’s Equal Rites.  Except the way Pratchett plays on this myth is an eighth son of an eighth son of an eighth son becomes a wizard.

So, Tom is going to become the Spook’s apprentice.  I really like that the magical protector of the area is called the Spook.  I tend to enjoy the rural medieval style fantasies such as these.  Very nice set up, don’t you think Joseph?

Chapter Two: On the Road

The Spook is a really entertaining character.  The tropes of master and student well illustrated.  It’s time to face your fears head on.  The differences between ghost and ghast was neat as well.  I always thought of them as the same thing.  I like it when words have clear separate definitions.  Synonyms are hardly ever 100% the same.  Ah, the richness of language.

Also, there is an new reason this book seems to be fate.  Tonight I was talking with Rhiannon about how I was starting to see “things” around my apartment, at work, even when going for walks.  They’re “shadow figures” (for lack of better terminology); I can make out some details, but they’re clouded.  Sometimes I see a sunny little girl.  Sometimes I see a tall dark man.  Sometimes it’s just flashes of light or patches of blackness.  I don’t know what it is, but it’s very similar to the ghasts described here.  They don’t try and communicate with me; they’re just there.  Weird, and cool.

Chapter Three: Number Thirteen Watery Lane

Wow.  Joseph, he even managed to fool me.  I wasn’t expecting it to be the Spook in the basement.  I should have though.  I usually pick up on those kind of things.  Haha.  I really like Tom as a main character.  Even though he is scared out of his mind, he is very brave.  He faces his fears when he has to, and has a mind analytical enough to figure things out under pressure.  I identify with that.  Good show Mr. Joseph Delaney.  So far, you’ve got me hooked.

Chapter Four: The Letter

I’m really identifying with this character.  The way he thinks he and his mother are the same is very much how I see my mother and myself.  Only, I wish she knew the similarity as much as Tom’s mam seems to.

Chapter Five: Boggarts and Witches

I enjoy chapters like these; when you’re learning along with the protagonist.  It really defines the realm which the story is told in.  Chapters like this also tend to have a lot of clues in them.  The Spook has given Tom a myriad of warnings, made him make a promise not to go into this garden after dark and never alone, and never to try as see the living witch.

Using my “reading into things” superpowers, here’s what I can sniff out:  the living witch is going to do something that’s going to require Tom to go into the garden alone at night–possibly kidnap the Spook.  Tom will have to face the two dead witches before getting to her.  The boggart will probably be a challenge for Tom at some point, but I’m not sure if it will be connected to the witches ordeal.

Chapter Six: A Girl With Pointy Shoes

The way Tom thinks makes me happy.  He’s smart, he can deduce things, and he’s self reflective.  His thoughts match my thoughts as a reader (for the most part).  Insights on the plot are a little different.  Although, Tom does smell trouble ahead by realizing his mistakes in making the promise of Alice (who I think is the niece of the living witch).

I can’t decide whether Alice will end up a love interest–yes, I realize they’re thirteen–or if she’ll end up an nemesis.  We have the potential for both here.

Chapter Seven: Someone Has to Do It

Okay, so Tom DOES have the ability to make really silly choices.  I was starting to think he might be infallible.  Kinda glad he isn’t.  He’s still thirteen years old. Haha.

Chapter Eight: Old Mother Malkin

So I was wrong about the circumstances, but I was so right about him breaking all those promises.  I mean, come on though … that one was a duh!  The cakes will probably free the living witch at which point she’ll impart her revenge on the Spook.

Oh, so NOW you realize how foolish you’ve been Tom.  Nice goin’.

Nope.  Either Bony Lizzie took the children, or Mother Malkin did … who I think might be one and the same.  Also, children stealing totally reminds me of Hocus Pocus.

Alright, he’s got me convinced they can’t be one person (Mother Malkin and Bony Lizzie).  I believe that Alice might be being manipulated.  Don’t be fooled Joseph!  I think that the author had the Spook tell Tom to stay away from girls with pointy shoes because of a prejudice.  Alice seems alright.  I believe her.

Chapter Nine: On the Riverbank

To quote Stephen King: “Sometimes, dead is better … “

Chapter Ten: Poor Billy

Not yet convinced Alice is bad, but I could be pulling a Joey at this point.  I have over read into things a couple of times already.  I’m glad I’m reading a simpler story.  It is reminding me that basic plot-lines can be just as riveting as complex ones.  I should keep that in mind when we’re ready to chop stuff from the book we’re writing … aka, phase three.  Also, I don’t think Tom imagined seeing the Spook.  I think the Spook has just been watching the whole time to see how he’ll react, “since he decided to get himself in this mess,” is how I hear him putting it.

Okay, so the Spook wasn’t watching.  Haha.  I’m curious though … if he wasn’t watching, then wouldn’t he be more angry at Tom?  He was pretty short earlier in the book, now he’s got some patience.  I mean, I like it … it just seems out of character.

Chapter Eleven: The Pit

She’s only a young girl people!  She’s being manipulated.  Sorry folks; yelling at the voices in my head telling me Alice is bad.  I still think she’s good, but the men–with pipes, tweed, and reading specs–sitting in leather armchairs around the library of my mind, disagree.

The simplicity and straight-forwardness of this story is amazingly done.  It’s like Disney movies.  Clean, creative, with subtle layers of deeper story within the main drama for more advanced readers.

Chapter Twelve: The Desperate and the Dizzy

Figures, I decide to read before Rhiannon comes over, and I have to stop JUST as Alice is getting possessed by Mother Malkin.  Grr.  Joseph, our pal sure has my attention now!

Alright, this guy is playing me like a harp.  It’s certain now.  He’s writing for readers like me.  I haven’t just been reading into things.  He WANTS me to make these assumptions.  If you’ve read this chapter, then you know what I mean.  It’s not easy to make everyone an equal suspect for possession like this guy just did, Joseph.  I, seriously, have no idea who it could be.  I do know that the Spook needs to come and save the day though!  Or Mam.  Or both.  I’m still holding out on Alice as well.  I want her to end up being good … but the evidence is mounting against her.

Chapter Thirteen: Hairy Pigs

Joseph Delaney is a master: plain and simple.  I didn’t see that coming.  He had me properly distracted.  Genius.  I love books that subvert my expectations in such an amazing way.  I’m also glad the Spook nor Mam had to come save the day.

Chapter Fourteen: The Spook’s Advice

Awe!  See.  I knew she was “good” all along.  Tom’s got a friend for life in Alice.  I have no choice, Joseph.  I have to buy the next book in this series.  A-ma-zing.

Magical Tip of the Day: RECHARGE!

Feeling bummed out and sleepy?  Kinda sorta into magic?  Well, you need to recharge, baby!  The few works of magic you may have done already left you feeling drained–and some days of hard work make you feel that way too.  Those energy stores don’t just refill themselves.

Plugging In and Charging Up

Just as you need food to keep your engine running and sleep to keep the mind in order, you need to recharge your magical energy.

How on Earth do you do this?  Well, it’s nothing special really, and it’s mostly up to you.  Think of things to do that relax you.  Whether it’s taking a walk outside and observing the beauty of nature, or finding solace in a nice piece of Classical music.  Doing things that give you peace recharge you.

Try sitting outside on your break at work.  I know it might be cold this late in November, but do it.  Find a place that has a bit of nature in it.  Trees are something I always gravitate to.  Look at the tree, find what makes it beautiful to you.  The very act of appreciating something causes an energy exchange to take place between you and your object (the tree in this case).  With this energy exchange, like a rechargeable battery plugged into the wall, you will become recharged.

Appreciation Is Key

Appreciation is key to recharging.  Whatever act you choose to use as a tool to recharge, whether it’s reading a book or watching dancers express in movement, it has to be done with a sense of appreciation.  If you find doing any of the things I mention here taxing, or they just down-right don’t work for you, you need to keep looking.  There is something out there that you love.  When you see it, it makes the world shine for you.  It was created just for you, and you were meant to share with it.

Magic is about the coming together of things.  Sometimes it’s people.  Sometimes it’s nature.  Most importantly it’s always something that you find complete joy and peace of mind being and expressing with.   To quote a saint:  “It is in giving that we receive.”  We can’t help but recharge when we connect in this way.

Your Ultimate Goal

This connection that recharges you, your ultimate goal with it is to remain connected 24-7.  Jesus spoke about this connection when he asked his followers to “love thy neighbor as thyself.”  If you take the time to appreciate everything and everyone around you–find the beauty in them–then you’ll not find the need to recharge anymore.  You’ll be on an ever-loving path, always be connected, and always have the flow of magical energy in your life.  Only limited by what you hold true in your mind.

How to Make a Stamina Scroll

Tonight, I thought I’d share with you something that got me through my evening tonight.  I’ll post my word count for NaNoWriMo after the video.  I’m pooped.  We got a LOT done.  Gotta love magic!  Any other magical WriMos out there?

There’s No Place Like NaNoWriMo

Word Count: 34,647 of 50,000

Not bad for the sixth day of writing.  Hah.  I’m sorry.  I know we got a head start, but it’s working!  The drive I was hoping to get from NaNoWriMo has delivered.  Even Rhiannon is getting excited about what’s coming out.  So much better than planned.  Sometimes all it takes is a force to get you through.

Motivational Forces

There are times–for every writer–when coffee, pixie sticks, and other biological forms of motivation just don’t cut it.  You may be sitting in front of your keyboard all day intending to write, but the distractions are too high.  You can’t bring yourself to unplug the internet (you mean disconnect from the world? Scary!), or turn off the cell phone.  How do you focus yourself?  You have to write, but you can’t.

Let’s talk magical forces.  There are as many different kinds of magical forces as you can think of, and the magical force of motivation is a very powerful one.  With motivation, any task–even dreaded ones–take on a life, are quickly completed.  To seek and use a motivational force is to add power to whatever you intend to do.  First, you have to know where to locate it.

In the pit of your stomach, that place that hurts when you feel hungry, that is where motivational forces live.  Go there in your mind.  Feel around.  Whenever you get excited about something, it usually comes from here.

It has been said there is a flame inside all of us.  I believe this is where that flame resides.  Whenever the distractions around me are getting to be too much, I focus on this place.  I feed the fire in a minute’s meditation.

When I feed this fire, it grows, and my fingers find their way through the story–blasting into scenes unthought of.  These are times when it’s just you and your story.  It’s almost as if you are watching it in action.  I find I write the best stuff when I have to do these meditations.  I’ve been doing them daily for NaNoWriMo.

Strike a flame with me!  Add inspiration to your story.   Tell me, what do you do to inspire yourself when you’re not feelin’ it?

Gratitude

As I said in Home Cleansing, an essential component to magic – or anything else, really – is gratitude. Not only does it make you feel good, it makes the object of your appreciation feel great! There is something mystical about how emotion is not tangible, yet always given or received; be careful to give off good emotions and watch how they come back to you.

Gratitude is the base of all other good feelings we have. Yes, love even stems from gratitude. I know it is common to think that love and fear are the two ground level emotions, but really…what are they? To answer that question you have to figure out what love and fear means to you.

For me, the definitions are simple. Love you express by giving and receiving gratitude. Fear is not having the ability to do just that. No matter what religion or credo you guide your life by…giving love and gratitude to others takes a front seat. Even those who strive for the lime-light long to express their gratitude for success. [Rhiannon's two cents: Really? I don’t think Kanye West is thanking ANYONE. Just a thought. Joey's rebuttal: Yeah, yeah, yeah.]

Rhiannon and I believe we are on the brink of something big. We have huge dreams for the future, not only as writers of books – but as living inspiration for creative minds all over the world. We dream of sparking the imaginations of the young and old alike; of giving meaning to our poorly represented generation; of bringing magic back into the world. Real, true magic. And all these things start with gratitude.

My collaboration with Rhiannon would not be possible at all without the actions of one individual: Richard Hutchinson. Big Rich, if you hadn’t pressured me into joining the Lowell High School Spindles Show Choir, Rhiannon and I would have missed our connection and possibly our chance to join forces and make each others’ dreams come true. Thank you. In every possible way, thank you.

Being a Wizard Means Having Patience

My magical training starts with a wonderful book, “Grimoire for the Apprentice Wizard,” by Oberon Zell-Ravenheart. I’ve only been reading for a few weeks, but each time I turn the page I want to devour every tiny bit of information all at once. I want to do every exercise, find every magical tool he lists, and know everything already. Becoming a Wizard doesn’t work like that. In order for your mind to adjust to magical workings, the information needs to be digested slowly. I reached a point where I was completely exhausted from trying to take in too much at once and have since slowed down. I’m now reading a little more passively, only trying a few new things at a time. I started with trying to see people’s auras, and it took me a couple of days before I could see my boyfriend’s. I still have trouble seeing anyone else, but I hypothesize that’s because it’s awkward to stare at strangers long enough for my eyes to adjust. Over time, with practice, I’ll be able to instantly see anyone’s aura on demand. If you start to feel frustrated with your pace, take a deep breath and possibly a break. Maybe try moving onto another area of magic – there are so many! But never give up; have patience.

In Memory of Mary Travers, In Defense of Puff, the Magic Dragon

Mary Travers

Yesterday the world lost an amazing woman and musician; Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary has gone off to the Land of Honalee. I hope she enjoys, “Frolicking in the autumn mist,” for the rest of eternity.

Her unfortunate death has prompted me to address a subject that has always been a thorn in my side, pretty much since I was old enough to express myself. I’ve been listening to the albums “Peter, Paul and Mommy” and “Peter, Paul and Mommy, Too,” for as long as I can remember, and I’ve loved the song “Puff, The Magic Dragon,” just as long. And regrettably, for just as long, people have been telling me the song is about marijuana.

I am here to tell you that this is not true. Not only do all three artists deny these references, but if you listen to the song, it has so much meaning without looking for hidden, silly ones.

It is the inevitable fact of life that as we pass from our childhood innocence and imagination to our adult experience and self-consciousness, we become afraid of, or uninterested in, opening ourselves up to the images and scenarios that come to us so easily as children. That is what this song is about – losing your imagination. When’s the last time any of you have climbed in a refrigerator box and rocketed to outer space? If you’ve done this lately, I say good for you! But chances are you haven’t, unless you have a little kid, of course.

This song paints a picture of a young boy who has grand adventures with his best friend, Puff. Puff is a big, friendly dragon, and the two are inseparable for all of Jackie Paper’s early life, accompanying him on trips to meet royalty and fight pirates. Unfortunately, “A dragon lives forever, but not so little (girls and) boys.” Jackie grows up and probably becomes interested in girls and cars and no longer has time for his old friend.

When I graduated from high school, I remember listening to this song on repeat for quite a while and crying a few times, mourning the loss of my childhood. Little did I know that it would be after college that I actually found my way back to imagination – and how improved my life is now! I hear this song and no longer mourn the loss of my childhood (although today I mourn the loss of Mary), but instead revel in the fact that Puff isn’t really gone, but still in his cave, waiting for me to call him out and, “play along the cherry lane.” I think I will go do that now.

Thank you, Mary Travers, for your extraordinary talents and lovely voice. You will be missed.