The Nightmare Factory

Hello, all! This is a month long series about my adventures working in a haunted house in Salem, MA during October. Though I used to work there nearly every day during college, my location and work schedule limit me to only one day a week this year. As such, I’ve decided to collect some of the better scares and hilarious moments in a weekly article.

This week marked the official opening of Salem’s Haunted House Presents: The Nightmare Factory for the Halloween season, though the haunt is open nearly all year. I literally supported myself on this job my senior year of college, though sometimes I wonder how. I’ve come to the conclusion that it was my sheer love of scaring the buhjeezus out of people that kept me running all year long.

Unfortunately, yesterday wasn’t as fast paced as we look forward to on Halloween, so this article will probably be the shortest. These incidents involve a middle aged man and a preteen boy respectively, illustrating my abilities to scare everyone equally.

Our haunted house is set up to be run by one person, but during October we split the scares up between a handful of people. I work near the front, so I get to hear everyone hyping themselves out before they walk through the door. I also get the first scare, but instead of picking out the people who I know will scream, I aim for the ones that look like the big toughies. Or whoever is last in line, it depends on my mood.

In any case, this one group was full of screamers led by dad. Everywhere I jumped out, they screamed, but he was just laughing and enjoying the experience. I had one last chance to get this guy, and it came as he walked right by the curtain I was hiding behind. I got up to his ear and yelled, “Don’t leave me!” He yelped and nearly ran into the wall. After the tour was over, our ticket taker asked the group, “I heard Dad screamed in there,” and the whole family laughed when he admitted to it. “That was really great,” he said to us. “I can’t believe you got me to scream.” You’re welcome, awesome dad!

The second kid cracked me up. I was waiting behind the scenes for my cue when I heard him yell, “I remember this part!” Usually when a customer says that, they then follow with a detailed account of what is to happen, thus ruining the surprise for everyone else, but we didn’t give him a chance. I jumped out, and he and the rest of the group screamed and flew into the back wall. They were laughing so hard as they rounded the corner that the next person scared them into screaming again, easily. He must not have remembered what was going to happen TOO much if he screamed that hard. Thanks for not spilling the beans, little dude!

More to come next week. I Love October!

Ten of Cups

Ten of Cups

A family stands at a table with the mother and father at the head (the father’s arm is around the mother’s), and the two children on either side. The mother looks awestruck at the dragons flying around their heads; the father looks sort of blank faced, maybe incredulous; the children look wary of, but interested in, the jar o’ dragons on the table. The cups on the table are being filled with rainbows.

I think I’m filled with the emotions of each of these people. Sometimes I’m awestruck by magic, sometimes I’m blank faced and full of disbelief, sometimes I’m wary, but interested in everything I’m learning.

But, hopefully, my cups will be full of lucky rainbows today!

Books on Foot

I either have a trickster in my office or these curses were not broken like they should have been! I suppose the book could’ve grown legs and wandered off on its own, considering the sheer amount of magic surrounding the Treehouse Office.

The day started pretty normally: punched a knot in the wall of the Tree and coffee appeared in a little compartment underneath. This is definitely my favorite addition to the office; I love that it changes each time we show up, usually after saying something the night before like, “Jeez, I wish we had paper generator.” Next day, there were several stacks of different types of paper lined up on a desk we’d never seen before with a machine next to it that never existed before. It actually smiled at us when we stopped to marvel at it!

Anyways, as I was saying, I got my delicious coffee (the Tree knows exactly how I like it, and even added a little nut flavoring today – exactly what I was in the mood for!), and sat at the desk. My plan was to work through some issues in our book. I opened the big leather-bound book left on my desk by Joey. Normally, the book saves everything we write and we can edit passages by tapping what we want to move and point where it should go. However, I opened the book and there was nothing! I checked the cover again and it said, “The Taftkan Materials,” but all the pages were gone, like they shed their skin and took off running.

. . . I just got a call from Joey (our Tree has a phone, though most of Taftka would be thoroughly confused by it; we needed a way to communicate if we weren’t both in Taftka at the same time). The book ran to his place! Apparently I was not meant to write the next part. I hope he has more luck with this tricky text than I did, today!

Previous | Joey’s Side of the Story

Five of Pentacles

Five of Pentacles

The first thing I notice in the Five of Pents is a man walking away from a woman who is looking after him in a way that suggests she can’t decide if she wants to follow him or not. This represents many things in my life right now: I see Joey progressing in magic at a much faster pace than I am; I see a friend walking away and indecision about how I feel in this situation; I see fear of a lover walking away; and I see fear of walking away from my old self.

There are five pentacles lying on the floor, some of them broken. Pents sometimes stand for money, and I’ve definitely been feeling apprehensive about saving and spending. I bought a computer this weekend and now I have to tighten my belt to save up the money I spent.

There are astral dragons yelling messages at me that were not heard until a conversation with Joey this morning. They want me to stop spending so much time and money on a certain habit of mine that needs to be beaten into submission and moderation.

Lots of warnings for me to consider today. Time to start facing the darker side of things, methinks.

Curses!

Okay, I am never doing business with a pirate again. Coral grew, uh, impatient with me yesterday and drew her sword. Like I don’t have enough injuries from fighting Horqumus! Luckily nothing terrible happened because I managed to conjure a shield in time. I think she cursed the Treehouse Office, though, because everything I tried to do for the rest of the day failed. Not to mention on the way home, my broom started dragging on the floor and no amount of will would make it fly properly. I guess this is just proof that life is never perfect, even in the magical land of Taftka.

Today has been much better! I got someone to remove the curse for me, because nothing I did got rid of it. I’m almost done Coral’s decree. Hopefully it will be approved before she gets impatient again. And it’s Friday! Hello, weekend. Nice to see you again.

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Lean, Mean, Writing Machine Monster. And Juggling.

Whew!  Yesterday was insane!  There was so much paperwork to be organized and written that I turned myself into a typewriter/filing monster; I got three times as much done as usual.  The actual transformation took a lot of energy, though, so I probably won’t do it very often.  Right now Coral is still on my case about the decree I’m trying to implement, but every time I send it around, someone has an issue with it.  Not everyone thinks the pirates should have free reign – but try telling that to a pirate!  She intimidates me to no end, but I just keep plugging along and hopefully we get this project out the door soon.

Later that night I left Taftka to see a play with Ryan – talk about magic!  It was actually Romeo and Juliet performed through juggling, with another story woven into the mix.  It was extremely enjoyable, especially since they used me as the cell phone plant; the phone went off and one of the actors yelled at me!  But, I’m an exemplary theatre-goer.  I turned my phone off before even entering the theatre!  They gave me Lindt chocolate for participating, though; there aren’t too many things I wouldn’t do for some yummy chocolate!

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Practical Jokers, Beware!

Sorry for my extended, weekend-long absence. I took the time off for my birthday, starting with a party held by my comrades-in-arms and ending with a very relaxing day with my boyfriend, and much celebrating in between with friends and family. I make every birthday as special and exciting as the majors (16, 18, 21, etc.). I know a lot of people who complain about how no one acknowledges their birthday – no one would do anything on mine if I didn’t make sure everyone knows it’s coming up. People who stay quiet about their birthdays are going to miss out.

In any case, it was a great weekend, but I didn’t get to spend very much time in Taftka. Today, however, things are back in full swing. I’ve been cleaning up the Treehouse Office because all of our paperwork likes to rearrange itself if no one is here to keep it in line for an extended period of time. I’ve been trying desperately to get Coral’s decree finalized and approved, but each time it goes out for approval it comes back looking like a bright red roadmap of editing errors. I don’t understand it! I send the package out looking perfect and when it comes back there are mistakes that definitely would not make it through my editing eagle eye . . . I think someone swapped my magical, spell check ink with prankster ink. Joseph, I’ve got my eye on you! Although I suppose Sissy could be behind this. Excuse me while I put an anti-tampering spell all around my office!

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Writer’s Log

Today I got to take a break in Treehouse Headquarters; well, not so much a break, but a shift in work detail. See, the almighty They didn’t really like our revolution yesterday and decided we should maybe take a little break. Thank. Goodness.

Part of the day was spent making lists of things we absolutely need, things we really want, and things we’ll ask for and know we won’t get, for the coming months. Tedious. However, the Captain of the Reefling decided she wanted a decree written – some boundary thing, I didn’t quite understand what it meant, but I think I did a decent job writing it anyways. Hey, part of being a writer is imagining you know what’s going on. Do you think we plan for our characters to do things?

Take today, for instance. I didn’t know Coral Reefling was going to walk into my day. But there she was, bold as brass in my doorway this morning, with a big ole scroll in hand. Once I got down to writing and editing her notes into the appropriate templates I was in my utter glory. It reminded me why I love writing and playing with words so much; and why I would rather leave my characters to fighting the big bads, like Horqumus. But, we all do our part in the world – I try to make mine a good one. Goodnight!

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In Memory of Mary Travers, In Defense of Puff, the Magic Dragon

Mary Travers

Yesterday the world lost an amazing woman and musician; Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary has gone off to the Land of Honalee. I hope she enjoys, “Frolicking in the autumn mist,” for the rest of eternity.

Her unfortunate death has prompted me to address a subject that has always been a thorn in my side, pretty much since I was old enough to express myself. I’ve been listening to the albums “Peter, Paul and Mommy” and “Peter, Paul and Mommy, Too,” for as long as I can remember, and I’ve loved the song “Puff, The Magic Dragon,” just as long. And regrettably, for just as long, people have been telling me the song is about marijuana.

I am here to tell you that this is not true. Not only do all three artists deny these references, but if you listen to the song, it has so much meaning without looking for hidden, silly ones.

It is the inevitable fact of life that as we pass from our childhood innocence and imagination to our adult experience and self-consciousness, we become afraid of, or uninterested in, opening ourselves up to the images and scenarios that come to us so easily as children. That is what this song is about – losing your imagination. When’s the last time any of you have climbed in a refrigerator box and rocketed to outer space? If you’ve done this lately, I say good for you! But chances are you haven’t, unless you have a little kid, of course.

This song paints a picture of a young boy who has grand adventures with his best friend, Puff. Puff is a big, friendly dragon, and the two are inseparable for all of Jackie Paper’s early life, accompanying him on trips to meet royalty and fight pirates. Unfortunately, “A dragon lives forever, but not so little (girls and) boys.” Jackie grows up and probably becomes interested in girls and cars and no longer has time for his old friend.

When I graduated from high school, I remember listening to this song on repeat for quite a while and crying a few times, mourning the loss of my childhood. Little did I know that it would be after college that I actually found my way back to imagination – and how improved my life is now! I hear this song and no longer mourn the loss of my childhood (although today I mourn the loss of Mary), but instead revel in the fact that Puff isn’t really gone, but still in his cave, waiting for me to call him out and, “play along the cherry lane.” I think I will go do that now.

Thank you, Mary Travers, for your extraordinary talents and lovely voice. You will be missed.

Vive La Revolution!

Jeezie Creezie!  What an exciting, liberating day.  Fed up with the constant battle, strife, and tentacle stings, our little contingency staged our own uprising.  Partially against the spectre that was possessing physical headquarters, but mostly against The Planning Committee of Destroying Horqumus.

Yes, these people are that uncreative, and not to mention stingy!  We’ve been waiting weeks for more supplies or troops, from the lowest Novices to the highest Scintillates and anyone else they could possibly coerce into this endless, pointless battle.

Either they give us more troops, or we stop fighting and try to get along with him – yes, I just said it.  His limbs keep respawning!  Honestly? After the giggle gas – what if there is some way we can make peace with him?  And what if we can somehow put him to use?  Wouldn’t that make everyone’s lives easier?  Wouldn’t it!?

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