Thoughts on Heaven and Hell

I’ve been thinking about Heaven and Hell today.  Kelsi told me this joke: All the Christians are up in Heaven partying it up until you get to the some who are sitting around silent.  God says, “Shhh, it’s the Baptists, they think they’re the only ones up here!”  I laughed at that, because lucky for the Baptists, God takes ANYONE who believes in Jesus.

Kelsi also asked, “Now that you’re Christian, you’re not going to try to turn me, are you?  Cuz that’s not cool.”  No, I don’t want to turn her.  She doesn’t want God in her life, so when she dies, she won’t have God in death.  She gets what she wants because God respects her choice.  But, what if she sort of still believes it with a tiny bit of her heart? From what I’ve read so far – and I’m not holding a book in front of me, so there won’t be any references at the moment (and feel free to correct me if I have this wrong!) – there are levels of heaven and hell, correct?  Somewhere in “I Don’t Have Enough Faith to be an Atheist,” it says that everyone will experience the afterlife differently, that our lives on earth prepare us for how we experience eternity.  I wonder how she would experience it.  Is it like the “Celestine Prophecy” suggests: constantly living out the control dramas of our lives for all eternity?  If that’s Hell, I’ll take Heaven…

In Joey’s article from almost a year ago, Riding the Wave? he talked about the sensation of surrendering to the Higher Power, whatever it may be.

I’ve chosen God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

He’s chosen…something I don’t quite understand completely, but it works for him.  If he feels that for all eternity, I’m sure he’d be plenty pleased with it.  All I know is that surrendering to the Higher Power is an incredibly freeing and secure feeling.  Funny that this song just came on:

Closer to Fine

Recently, I’ve been going through some turbulent times involving religion, spirituality, history, and reconciling it all in my head.  Everything I’ve written about magic I believe.  But I’ve also believed in the Christian God and Jesus almost all of my life.  I still pray, “In Jesus’ Name I Pray, Amen.”  It’s automatic, like breathing.  Almost every time—scratch that, EVERY time I get on the highway since the one time I didn’t do this and totaled my car—I say, “Dear God, please protect me, in Jesus’ name I pray, Amen.”  If I’m getting onto 128, I say it three times or more.  Is that praying?  Is that magic?

Can’t it be both?

Think about it: there have been so many different cultures, religions, gods, goddesses, heroes, saints, morals, practices, how can we possibly say that one is correct over the other?  It also seems impossible to say, “Well, they’re all correct.”

What I think I’ve come to believe (but wait a week and it will change) is that somewhere in the midst of all of those beliefs is a connection to something.  I don’t know if it is God, Allah, The Universe, or Energy, but there is something we can connect to if we want to.  Some people tap into it for evil things some for good, some for selfish reasons, some to help others.  Some completely ignore it, or turn to it only in their hour of need.  Some struggle their entire lives trying to tap back into what was so easy as children.

The Key, and the main point in our books, is that you have to possess a strong imagination to connect.  When I was a kid I had no problem whatsoever believing in God.  I could imagine His arms around me and I could feel His light shine through me.  Then I went to college and took World Civ and realized that Christianity is only a small slice of pie on this earth and it killed my ability to believe in the words of men who sought to control the masses.  What about all those other cultures who believe their beliefs so fervently?

From what I’ve experienced, both Christianity and Magic tell you to visualize the outcome you want firmly in your mind and release it into God’s Hands or The Universe.  Both practitioners of magic and prayer have obtained impressive, sometimes miraculous results: because they can Imagine.

In high school, I had no idea where I was going to college, but I could visualize myself sitting in college classrooms.  I managed to get there with pretty much a free ride.  In college, I had no idea how I was going to get to England, but I could very easily imagine myself in Oxford classrooms and drinking in pubs (actually, the pubs were a huge stretch for my imagination!).  I got all of the paperwork and loans taken care of with surprisingly little hassle.  I have no idea how Joey and I are going to get these books published, but I can picture the two of us holding the finished product in our hands and grinning at the camera.  I know it’s going to happen.

As for my relationship with God?  I believe he must exist, considering the vast numbers who worship Him.  Who wouldn’t want a loving, caring God to get your back?  I know I’ve felt the connection to Him, or whatever energy/being it is out there.  When I release my prayer into the wind, I talk to Him, the universe, my personal dragon, Phylquestrial, and I feel slightly closer to fine.

Title inspiration (and relevant topic): Closer to Fine – Indigo Girls

Facebook Rage

Things I don’t understand about Facebook could probably span several novels (or at least a few chapters in a novella); the one that annoys me enough to write about, however, is people “liking” things that the person clearly does not. Perhaps they enjoy irony, maybe they’re masochistic. I suppose they could be bored at work and clicking any link that someone recommends to them, I DON’T KNOW! But here are a few examples gleaned from my page today, tweaked in a totally non-propagandistic and subtle way (the subtlest being correct spelling):

On the one hand, this person “likes” rjpsindle.com, which I can understand. Part of Facebook is networking with people who like the same things as you. On the other hand, this person “likes” The worst feeling ever is feeling like you’ll just keep trying and always losing.

What! No, you do not like that! NO one likes that!

Oh, look, another person “likes” rjspindle.com! But wait, they also “like” I’m sorry, I forgot you only notice my existence when you need something.

Once again, you clearly do not like this about anyone…so why bother going through the trouble of pressing a button that says you do “like” it? Is it because people are too lazy to bother writing their own likes and dislikes so they just have to join thousands of other people “liking” their same dislikes, only horribly misspelled and mistyped?

To quote a memorable college professor in a high pitched, squeaky voice, “Facebook. You make me SO SAD!”

Moving out

On March 1, 2010, Ryan and I moved out of the first apartment we shared together to a newer, bigger, shinier place.  The following pictures show the walls of the old place, parts of the new place, and a load of shenanigans in between.  Enjoy

Thanks to Joey, Nicole, Andrew, Mom and Dad for moving us in!

[1]  The beginning of “life on my own.”  I was so excited that I got to write on the walls.  When I found out I was only going to be living there for a year, though, I didn’t end up writing very much.  It seemed like too much work to not take with us, but I’ve at least got pictures of most of what we wrote.

[2]  Andrew’s contribution to the wall from one of my favorite movies, haha.

[3]  Of course I had a Beatles/English corner.  There was a British flag hanging next to these quotes.

[4]  Kelsi wrote, “Seestars Fo-eva!  Whether we like it or not! <3 Kelsi”  I’m sad that these pictures didn’t come out very clear.

[5]  Nicole said, “Your Mom is BATTY (and we love her!)”

[6]  Mom responded, “Yea me ”  My Mom rocks!

[7]  This “Completely logical idea” was for someone to follow Ryan around with a guitar playing a soundtrack to his life….

[8]  Narcisleptic is someone who is narcissistic and narcoleptic: Someone who wants to sleep with themselves but keeps falling asleep.

[9]  This started out as just taking a picture of us under the writing on the wall that says, “Facebook just got simpler January 6, 2009,” but Joey and Ryan are goofballs and enjoy playing with cameras.

[10]  Happiness!

[11]  AAAAAH!

[12]  Wha happened?  (A Mighty Wind reference)

[13]  Hrm, I think I should’ve tried to lick his eyeball…that always freaks him out

[14]  When Ryan came to visit me that weekend, we decided to change our statuses to “It’s complicated,” because I wanted to go out with him, but we still had the distance issue.  Shortly into the trip I realized that distance once again does not matter, and more than that, we’re old enough to do something about the distance now, whereas back in high school, we were stuck.  So on January 6, I asked Ryan if he wanted to make it official and move to MA, he said yes.

Seconds later he geeked out because Joey looked like Johnny Depp from Secret Window.  Now, he looks like Animal:

[15]  I’ll let the hat and mess speak for themselves.

[16]  Hello, Joseph!

[17]  For some reason, Ryan attacked my hair.  I don’t know why he did, but it felt AMAZING.

[18] Grrrrr.

[19]  That felt good

[20]  Really, Ryan?  Must you deflower my Christmas gift from Kari?

[21]  Setting up the essentials at the new place.  Gotta have the computer cuz you gotta have TUNES!

[22]  Look, I found The Guild!  Not that it’s important right at this moment…

[23]  Phone’s ringing…this place is a mess.

[24 ... an alien]  Is it an alien?  Or is it a JOEYMONSTER!  He has at least six eyes!

[25]  Joey has weird timing with the camera…but pretty candle.  I think the orb on my arm is the ghost that was making all that noise!

[26]  Ryan with his feet up, being lazy (kidding!)

[27 ... it waved at me]  Yeah, random foot picture by Joey…

[28]  We got all the furniture organized!  We put as much up against the wall as possible to hopefully block the sound more.

[29]  Look at all the extra room for activities!

When I get everything cleaned up this weekend, I’ll take a few more pictures; hopefully it will be fully decorated, too!  I’m so excited about this new place

Dreams

The other day my sister told me I sounded like a fifteen-year-old girl talking about how I’m going to be famous and rich and have everything I’ve always wanted. It annoyed me, but when I asked myself why, it got me thinking about dreams. Some people don’t dream at all, because they are afraid they’ll never get it and it will hurt more than they could stand. When I started thinking from the perspective, I pulled up the question: What is the worst that can happen from working on these novels with Joey?

The Worst:

One would think the worst that could happen is failing: we never finish the book, nobody wants to publish it or it gets published and no one likes it. That would be pretty bad, but I’d still have the experience of being a novelist, something I never thought I’d actually have. Not to mention, we’re only a few chapters from the end of the rough draft, so I don’t think the first failure, of not finishing the novel, will happen. There is still the chance that no one will publish it or like it, but I find that doubtful.
We’re writing with our contemporaries, much like every time period I ever studied in British, American, or World lit. The classes are all about, “How is this similar to who came before and how is it different?” We are taking what is popular at the time and integrating the elements we like while making fun of the elements that we dislike.
And if no one likes what we write, we still have the experience, one that has brought Joey and I closer together than I thought possible. Which brings me to the absolute worst thing that could happen in this venture, and it could happen before or during publishing: something could turn into a huge argument between us and end our friendship forever.

I don’t think this could possibly happen. If it was going to, I imagine it would’ve happened already. Luckily for us, we’ve spent a lot of time fighting about useless things in the duration of our friendship and have therefore learned how to navigate an argument into something useful; every time we have an argument about the book, the story gets even better.

The Best:

Obviously the best case scenario is that our book catches the world’s imagination and we soar into the consciousness of our audience. That I’ll become a New York Times bestselling author, something I’ve wanted since I read Stephanie Plum and saw that splashed on every one of Evanovich’s books.  And maybe saying things like that does sound naïve. But if I didn’t go after this chance, I would be absolutely insane, especially since the worst that can happen seems so utterly unlikely. Let them say no to us; they can’t take away the artistic genius that has come from our writing partnership or the fun we’ve had along the way.

In Want of a Snow Day

When we’re young and only bogged down by the one responsibility of attending school, snow is the greatest thing in the world.  As soon as winter hits, every school child is praying, wishing, hoping for snow, turning their pajamas inside out in order to cast the Snow Day Spell (although, that might’ve just been my college roommate).  If there is a whisper of a storm, they rush to the television or radio in the morning and cross every finger and toe until they see or hear their school cancellation notice and then rush back to bed, only to realize they are much too excited about missing school to sleep.  Then it is on with the snow pants and out into the yard to terrorize the dog or siblings or neighborhood children with snowballs.  Maybe create a few snow creatures or cause traffic issues with sledding down the giant snow banks lining the city streets.  They don’t have a care in the world!

When we’ve graduated and suddenly become bogged down with a cornucopia of responsibilities, snow is the greatest pain in the ass in the world.  We have to shovel it, push it off our cars, and drive through it.  On the weekend, it’s the reason we can’t go out and do whatever we had planned (although, I suppose that would be a good thing depending on the plans).  During the week, it’s just another obstacle on the way to work in the morning or on the way home in the evening.  Now, if there is too much snow to get to work, we have to use precious personal or vacation time to stay safely at home, away from the maniacs on the highway who don’t understand the concept of driving slowly in inclement weather.

The past few days the weather people have been freaking out about gobs of snow, snow like we’ve never seen, snow that will end life as we know it!  When we first found out, we all groaned.  Great, we thought, I’m going to have to get up extra early to get to work and my boss probably won’t let me leave early so I’ll be home just in time to turn around and go back to work.  Fabulous. But, as the chance for snow seemed more and more unlikely, the groans and grumbles got louder…because now we WANTED a day off from work.  We were promised a storm, we want a STORM!  Maybe we don’t want to get into a snowball fight or sled down snow banks, but we want the chance to sit inside with hot cocoa and read a book or play a game.  Take a break from responsibility.

Well, we didn’t get that break.  The winter still has a ways to go, though.  Maybe we’ll have our chance to be kids again before the warm and wonderful weather moves in for yet another cycle.  If only they gave us a “nice weather day.”  When these books take off, I’m taking many!

Hello!

“I can’t think of anything to say, *laughs* except it’s marvelous…”
-Pink Floyd

I really don’t have anything to say, but I wanted to stop in and say, “Hello!” Hope all is well with everyone

American Gods

American Gods

by Neil Gaiman

Preface

I recommend reading “American Gods” by Neil Gaiman before reading this post. It’s not a very formal commentary like Joey does. I didn’t have the thought to mark what chapter I was on as I had these revelations, and they come very far into the book.

My Thoughts on the Book

Ok, I haven’t commentated on this book like I wanted to. I kept forgetting, because I was at work and reading during lunch instead of at home where I can turn to the computer at any moment. So, I didn’t comment on some woman swallowing a guy with her vagina, I didn’t comment on the random gay sex with a god, and I didn’t comment on the giant mechanical spider of doom on top of a pile of human bones. I didn’t get to talk about how awesome (girl) Sam is, even though she is barely in the story or how much Wednesday reminds me of a much more psychotic version of one of our characters.

But this? This I’ve got to comment on. Shadow, the main character of the book, just died. I stopped reading in order to write this, so I don’t know if he comes back in any capacity, but he BETTER! I just spent 484 pages completely wrapped up in this guy’s story, following along in his blank, unbelieving mind, wondering just when everything is going to make sense, and then he DIES! I seriously did not think he was going to die on the tree. I don’t really believe he’s dead, now. He can’t be. Okay, I’m going to pick the book back up again and I’ll get back to you on this.

OH NO! Laura is somehow alive (I feel like I’m talking about Twin Peaks…), ALIVE alive, not the dead alive, and she just got in a car with the guy that killed Shadow! I’ve been enjoying the book, but this is the first time I feel completely IN the story.

Oh yay, Shadow is back (sort of), but I don’t think he’s too happy about it! I suppose I don’t blame him, being hanged from a tree and all.

Um, Laura? I didn’t think I liked her too much, but I kind of like her style. She’s pretty badass for a semi-alive murderous bitch.

OH MY GOD, I think it was just last night that I thought of how terrifying it would be to fly on an animal’s back and then what happens? he flies on a thunderbird’s back and I WANT TO!

Neil Gaiman is a genius of epic proportions. And that’s not even sucking up!

Oh no, oh no, OH NO! And I liked Hinzelmann. Those poor kids . At least Shadow saves the day.

Awwwwe, Sam’s phantom flowers.

Ah, I love that Shadow went to meet his death but that he was allowed to live.

Type O Negative ending

I am sorry for the “Type O Negative” ending (where things just cut off randomly)…but I am unable to form coherent trains of thought after finishing that EPIC book. I’m glad I read this during the early drafts of our series! Thanks, Neil Gaiman!

Also, I promise that though my posts end abruptly, our books will not.  I don’t have a lot of time to devote to blogging at the moment, but it’s fun to share when I get the chance

Oh, Edward *fluttery sigh* (Please don’t shoot me)

Okay, I am about to actually quote Twilight (well, New Moon) and blog about it. I’ll make it short and sweet and hopefully you can all forgive me in the morning.

“You’re impossible,” [Edward] said, and he laughed once a hard laugh, frustrated. “How can I put this so that you’ll believe me? You’re not asleep, and you’re not dead. I’m here, and I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you. I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind, every second that I was away. When I told you that I didn’t want you, it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy.”

That sentence sums up exactly why almost every ‘tween, teen and twenty-something is in love with these books, with Edward. Every break up we’ve ever had, we’re left wishing that person would come back and say these words to us. And I burst into tears right along with Bella.

On a personal note, I identify more with Edward in this scene than Bella at the moment, though I’ve been in her position at least three times. Because about five years ago I broke up with Ryan, for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because he lived in Pennsylvania and he was a Junior in high school and I was a Freshmen in college. I didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but it wasn’t working then, never seeing each other. But, I got Edward’s ending here. We’re older, we have control over our lives and we have each other. My Junior year of high school, I dreamed and dreamed of being with Ryan forever. I think 16-year-old Rhiannon would flip if she knew she’d be living with him in her 20s!

Inspired by the “Dashboard” feature on this site

The writing process with Joey is a very new experience for me. I am a control freak, but in this project, I am not the one driving. Instead, I act as the GPS, guiding the ideas he produces and occasionally politely asking him where he thinks he is going and suggesting perhaps he turn around. When he doesn’t take my suggestion or feels very strongly about an idea, I tell him to prove to me it will work, show me on the map where he is going with this. When I do that, he has to explain in very good detail exactly why he wants something to happen a certain way, and I make him show me every angle, throwing in my view here and there. It’s an incredibly invigorating process and has produced ideas that have thoroughly confounded the both of us.

It feels liberating, after so many years of gripping the steering wheel for dear life, to move into the passenger’s seat and chat freely about ideas instead of paying strict attention to the road. For a while I was feeling panicky because I couldn’t see what was coming and I knew much less about the destination than Joey did. But now, even though I occasionally reach up to grip the “oh shit” handle, I’ve accepted my roll as navigator in this insane ride we’re on. Hopefully with practice, I’ll kick my feet up on the dashboard and relax!

But seriously, Joey drives like a maniac. (“Stay?” I ask him, flabbergasted. “You can’t just point to a car and tell them to STAY in Boston, Joey!”)