Moving out

On March 1, 2010, Ryan and I moved out of the first apartment we shared together to a newer, bigger, shinier place.  The following pictures show the walls of the old place, parts of the new place, and a load of shenanigans in between.  Enjoy

Thanks to Joey, Nicole, Andrew, Mom and Dad for moving us in!

[1]  The beginning of “life on my own.”  I was so excited that I got to write on the walls.  When I found out I was only going to be living there for a year, though, I didn’t end up writing very much.  It seemed like too much work to not take with us, but I’ve at least got pictures of most of what we wrote.

[2]  Andrew’s contribution to the wall from one of my favorite movies, haha.

[3]  Of course I had a Beatles/English corner.  There was a British flag hanging next to these quotes.

[4]  Kelsi wrote, “Seestars Fo-eva!  Whether we like it or not! <3 Kelsi”  I’m sad that these pictures didn’t come out very clear.

[5]  Nicole said, “Your Mom is BATTY (and we love her!)”

[6]  Mom responded, “Yea me ”  My Mom rocks!

[7]  This “Completely logical idea” was for someone to follow Ryan around with a guitar playing a soundtrack to his life….

[8]  Narcisleptic is someone who is narcissistic and narcoleptic: Someone who wants to sleep with themselves but keeps falling asleep.

[9]  This started out as just taking a picture of us under the writing on the wall that says, “Facebook just got simpler January 6, 2009,” but Joey and Ryan are goofballs and enjoy playing with cameras.

[10]  Happiness!

[11]  AAAAAH!

[12]  Wha happened?  (A Mighty Wind reference)

[13]  Hrm, I think I should’ve tried to lick his eyeball…that always freaks him out

[14]  When Ryan came to visit me that weekend, we decided to change our statuses to “It’s complicated,” because I wanted to go out with him, but we still had the distance issue.  Shortly into the trip I realized that distance once again does not matter, and more than that, we’re old enough to do something about the distance now, whereas back in high school, we were stuck.  So on January 6, I asked Ryan if he wanted to make it official and move to MA, he said yes.

Seconds later he geeked out because Joey looked like Johnny Depp from Secret Window.  Now, he looks like Animal:

[15]  I’ll let the hat and mess speak for themselves.

[16]  Hello, Joseph!

[17]  For some reason, Ryan attacked my hair.  I don’t know why he did, but it felt AMAZING.

[18] Grrrrr.

[19]  That felt good

[20]  Really, Ryan?  Must you deflower my Christmas gift from Kari?

[21]  Setting up the essentials at the new place.  Gotta have the computer cuz you gotta have TUNES!

[22]  Look, I found The Guild!  Not that it’s important right at this moment…

[23]  Phone’s ringing…this place is a mess.

[24 ... an alien]  Is it an alien?  Or is it a JOEYMONSTER!  He has at least six eyes!

[25]  Joey has weird timing with the camera…but pretty candle.  I think the orb on my arm is the ghost that was making all that noise!

[26]  Ryan with his feet up, being lazy (kidding!)

[27 ... it waved at me]  Yeah, random foot picture by Joey…

[28]  We got all the furniture organized!  We put as much up against the wall as possible to hopefully block the sound more.

[29]  Look at all the extra room for activities!

When I get everything cleaned up this weekend, I’ll take a few more pictures; hopefully it will be fully decorated, too!  I’m so excited about this new place

American Gods (II)

American Gods

by Neil Gaiman

First of all, his name is pronounced GAY-man.  I’m saying this more to remind myself than anyone else.  I always pronounce it G’EYE-man.

Second, I’m reading this book on my shiny new Nook!  So I may pepper this commentary with my reading experiences on the device as well.  I’m rather excited about BOTH the book and the nook.

Caveat, and Warning for Travelers

Gaiman just said what we WANT people to do in our books.  Our setting is very familiar to us, and we want people to seek out the various points in Lowell we highlight and exploit.  I’m glad he’s taken liberties.  Of course, all authors (of fiction or otherwise) take liberties.  It’s part of the game.

Part One | Shadows

Chapter One

Totally NOT what I was expecting in any way, shape, or form.  I knew next to nothing going into this book.  A stray word from Rhiannon here and there.  I have yet to read HER commentary, but for the most part, I remained ignorant of the plot … and I still am, in a way, because I’m not sure what’s going on.

Shadow is out of jail for doing something mysterious.  He’s being stocked by the strange Mr. Wednesday, “although given the weather, it might as well be Thursday, eh?”  Mr. Wednesday knows that Shadow’s wife died in a car crash DAYS before Shadow got out of the clink.  Despite his being suspicious, I still have a feeling I’m going to love this character.  And last, but not the least mind boggling, this scary chick who eats people with her vagina.  Yeah, nice one there Gaiman.  You’ve fulfilled every “gay man’s” worst nightmare, there.

Chapter Two

Rhiannon said something about liking the way Gaiman explains religion in this book.  I think I just got the start of it in the end of this chapter.  When that “kid” and his posse pick up Shadow after his wife’s funeral.  “The new paradigm,” have I heard THAT more than once in recent times.

I have a feeling this book is going to be REAL Neil Gaiman.  This is not a children’s story.  Not in any way.  Teenager, maybe.  I’d allow it, but I can see a LOT of parents being too prudish to let their kids read this.  Luckily, I have two sisters who will allow me to influence the reading of my niblings.

Chapter Three

Creepy!  Both the dream of the museum of dead gods and Laura, Shadow’s dead wife!

Interesting imagining of the immigration of gods!  I like it!  Must keep reading though.

Chapter Four

I’m still not sure what is going on in the story yet.  I don’t know who is good, bad, or what the point is.  Let’s see what I DO know.

[Rhiannon: I was thinking this through the whole book, but somehow it didn't irritate me that I didn't know.  I think it's because of Shadow's patience and ride-it-out attitude.  It was sort of zen being inside his head after being in my high speed nervous head all the time (and I don't even have HALF the worries Shadow does)]

I know that Shadow is working for Mr. Wednesday, and he’s “going to be killed” (I put it in quotes, because I don’t think it’s really going to happen) by Czernobog.  Currently, they are in the latter’s house with the three Zorya.

[Rhiannon: I didn't really think he was going to be killed either, but it was a weird gut feeling.  I knew Czernobog meant it, but I just figured Wednesday would weasel Shadow's way out of it.]

These “Coming to America” things are interesting, but I’m not sure what they’re leading to yet.  Rhiannon was quite right to be confused in the beginning of this story.  There is a lot going on, but not a lot being revealed.

Chapter Five

FINALLY!  We get some MEAT in the story.  First Mr. Wednesday robs a bank in a way I never would have thought to–nor would be brave enough to try.  Then we get to the House on the Rock and to this carousel (which is genius), and we’re suddenly before all the gods!  The next chapter is sure to explain a few things.

[Rhiannon: The carousel IS genius!  I want to go to Canobie Lake and try this!  Let's make a date this summer.  We can take Emily again!]

Chapter Six

Okay, so this is new gods against old gods, and Shadow’s quest to bring his wife back to life.  Got it.  It took a hundred and twenty pages, but we got there!  Now let’s see how he plans to DO it.

[Rhiannon: brilliant summary.  By the time I got there I kept thinking something else was supposed to happen other than those two things.  I was sort of right...]

Chapter Seven

Ah, so THAT’S what gay sex with a “god” is like.  A djinn … with fire cum.  As I was contemplating the possible fate of this character, Rhiannon informed me that he does appear in the book again.  Hrm.  So, what the point of these interludes after the chapter?  They are amusing, but distracting from the plot.  Maybe that’s the point … or maybe it WILL all come together.

[Rhiannon: I honestly don't remember if he shows up or not!  Do not quote me on that ]

Chapter Eight

Hrm, so Mad Sweeney is dead.  The coin Laura has is important … maybe that is why she has come back from the dead.  A LOT of people don’t trust Mr. Wednesday.  For SOME reason, I still really like him.  I dunno.  First impressions are lasting.  He charmed me.  What can I say?

Where are they off to?  Maybe we’ll get to find out what’s going on in the next part. Haha!

[Rhiannon: Haha.  Hahahahaha.  Maybe!]

Part Two | My Ainsel

Chapter Nine

Is Shadow meant to be a sacrifice of some kind? Or is he going to be Wednesday’s new “junior partner?”  Both?

Poor Shadow.  I’m not sure bringing Laura back to life is a good idea.  I’m also afraid for his life … and it has nothing to do with him getting his head bashed in.

Rhiannon is right; Sam IS cool! I hope nothing bad happens to her because she won’t cooperate.

Chapter Ten

What a quaint little town Lakeside is.  This cold seems like the calm before the storm though.  It’s too … quiet.

Why can’t Shadow keep that name in his mind?  Who are they going to see in Las Vagas?  It’s still too quiet.

Is this mysterious guy in the charcoal suit “RAM?”  That would explain why no one remembers him … except, somehow, Mr. Wednesday.  It can’t be though.  He seems to be on the side of the “old gods.”  Hrm.  Who could he be?

At the end of this chapter, I find myself, again, wondering what on EARTH is going on.  In a fun way though.  There are LOADS of possibilities.

Chapter Eleven

I know at the end of that it said that Mulligan was in love with Marguerite.

Okay, there is a LOT of pissing in this book.  Just sayin’.  And the gods can see Shadow’s dreams?  What exactly IS Shadow?  This was a strange dream as well.  Did he call the thunderbirds?

I’m highly amused that the “Easter Bunny” is a large, voluptuous woman.

“‘Scared my grandmother so much she nearly had kittens.’” HEEEEEEEEEEhehehehehe!

So … a girl had “disappeared” every winter for the past couple of years?  Is this god related?  Is this WINTER god related?  Is Sophie just reading into things?”  I ask again, what is going on?

That interlude was sad.  The twins who never see each other again until death.  It was kinda long though … *scratches his head as if he hadn’t said that last part*

Chapter Twelve

I’m not sure who Whiskey Jack is supposed to be, but I think we’ll see him again.  That “behind the scenes” stuff was weird/cool.  LOVED the “spider”/search-bott reference.

Okay, so does Marguerite know something?  What about her son, Sandy?

What’s this?  Mulligan has a girl out of state now?

Hrm.  Who/What was calling to Laura then?  Mr. Wednesday?  A menace we have yet to meet fully?  That weird guy that Shadow kept “forgetting?”  Is HE Mr. World?

As much as I was skeezed out by Bilquis’ man eating vagina, no one deserves to die like this. *Frown* I hope that tech-boy gets Shadow’s fist up his @$$.

Sam is Marguerite’s sister!  Whaaaat?

HAH! Laura got a job?  That’s … amazing.

Chapter Thirteen

Mr. Wednesday is dead.  Odin, King of the Norse gods is dead.  He did say something about being brought back with enough attention.  Shadow is very good at focusing his attention on something he wants … like the snowstorm he created.  Maybe Mr. Wednesday is counting on Shadow to “reimagine” him, and that’s why Shadow got hired.

That interlude was like the suicide of a god.  Unless the gods were too young to know back in 14,000 B.C.

Part Three | The Moment of the Storm

Chapter Fourteen

Could this vigil have something to do with bringing Wednesday back?  What is “the center?”

The center of America.  Hrm.  Places that are the opposite of sacred, and the center is the lowest of the low.  DOESN’T sound good, people!

Yeah, sleeping in the same building with new gods in them seems like a bad idea under ANY circumstances!

Low Key is Loki … ah, so DEATH is on the way!  Why is he on the BAD guys side?  He better be doing something covert … or come around.  He seems like a nice enough guy.  What’s this whole vigil business, and when is Shadow going to hop to it?

So Shadow will be tied to a tree for nine days.  Will Shadow actually die from this?  At least he’s “comfortable?”  What?  Naked, tied to a tree?  Will Laura be around for any of this?  Will Laura EVER be brought back to life? Who killed Laura Palmer?

Chapter Fifteen

What did that Elephant headed god just do?  This CAN’T be just a hallucination.

So Laura IS coming!  I like this squirrel.  Did she just spit out maggots?  And now Shadow is dead.  Hrm.

Chapter Sixteen

What the ..?  He chooses NOTHING?  What does that mean?  Mr. Wednesday is his father?  He is the son of a god?  I thought Wednesday said gods (for the most part) shoot blanks?  Shadow must be an exception of some kind.  There’s 120 pages left.  Shadow CAN’T be done and gone.

Chapter Seventeen

Does that mean Laura is back to life?  What’s with Town’s clocks and why is Shadow bleeding?  I’m back to just being completely confused … it’s so interesting though.  I can’t guess what might happen.

Easter is supposed to save the day?  I like Easter … she’s hawt.

Laura is in the car with Town … I feel bad for Town.  And who was that that walked in on Mr. World at the end?  Who exactly IS Mr. World supposed to be?  Should I know at this point?  I mean, he’s the leader of the new “gods,” but is there any more to it?  His lips were sewn shut?  Why?  Gaiman is going a GREAT job at keeping me on my toes.

Chapter Eighteen

Yeah, that’s what sucks about dying.  You go and come back to life and have all the bumps and bruises to deal with.  Almost makes you wish you had just stayed dead.  Although, Whiskey Jack DID say they were coming after Shadow anyway.  Might as well get it over and done with.  C’mon.  Y’all KNEW he was coming  back!

Wait … Easter blushed at Shadow’s nakedness?  Shouldn’t she, like, want to jump his bones?  Whatever happened to Wednesday’s eye?  Was that still in with his clothes?

What. A. BITCH! Haha!  She killed him.  Laura freakin’ killed him!  I mean, I was expecting it, but that was just … the dog’s bollocks!

*I* wanna ride a thunderbird … an not vicariously through Shadow!

Holy shit, what?  Loki is Mr. World!  You know, I remember someone saying something about him “playing driver” but I didn’t know what they were referring to, because Gaiman is a master at distraction!  Woo!  This is awesome!

Ah, well, he didn’t come right out and say it was Loki like I thought he was going to.  He might as well have though.  Saying he was in prison with Shadow coupled with the whole driver bit earlier … it’s quite obvious now.  Unless I’m wrong, but I don’t think so.

Since Laura’s “life” isn’t permanent, will the thunderbird Shadow is riding be able to help?  Does either of them want that at this point?  I don’t think Shadow would want her back.  If I was Shadow, I wouldn’t.  Oh!  Especially not if it means KILLING a thunderbird.  I don’t like that at all!

Well, now … I wasn’t expecting that.  Laura killed Mr. World/Loki.  Spectacular.  Kinda turns me more in favor of her revival.  Only I don’t want to have to MURDER and thunderbird.

“I was the sacrificial lamb.” “No, you were the Judas Goat.” <–That is humor.

Laura is gone for good.  As it should be.  I realized something here.  When Mad Sweeney is killed because Shadow snatched the wrong coin, I had a feeling it was Mr. Wednesday he was afraid of.  That makes sense now, because it was Laura (who Wednesday killed to get out of the way) who changed a LOT of what went down.

Part Four | Epilogue: Something That the Dead Are Keeping Back

Chapter Nineteen

What in the world did Shadow just realize?  What about Wednesday’s eye?  Can that help bring him back?  I still want him back too.  He was a jerk, but I liked him.  He’s just doing what he thought he had to do to survive … er–get power as gods again.

P. S. I like how some chapters are very short, and others are EPIC!

Chapter Twenty

We found Alison, dead.  Who put her there?  Hinzelmann?  He’s got to be some kind of god.  Why where the buffalo guy, thunderbird, and Whiskey Jack together?  Were the girls sacrifices to them?

Ah, sacrifices to Hinzelmann.  Makes sense.  At least he’s gone now, and almost everything is wrapped up nice and neat.  I knew Mulligan was going to end up with Marguerite.

Well, there goes Sam and Shadow ending up together … Sam has found herself another girl.

See, we knew Czernobog wouldn’t kill Shadow!

Postscript

Great ending.  All loose ends tied, and the story has been a wild ride.  I could barely guess a thing in this story, and I liked that.  He kept me on my toes, threw major curveballs, but EVERYTHING made sense.  I think most fantasy lovers will appreciate this book.

Lastly, I totally forgot that I was supposed to be making comments about the Nook!  Haha.  The Nook disappeared to the story.  That’s saying something about the story AND the device.  I love it.

Night of the Soul Stealer | The Last Apprentice Book 3

Night of the Soul Stealer

by Joseph Delaney

I’m reading this book because the first two were great … and I need another fantasy before I choke someone!

Chapter One: An Unexpected Visitor

Uh oh, looks like we’re dealing with a jilted, former apprentice in this book.  Poor Alice.  The Spook is always dumping her.  I hope she comes back … like she did in the last book.  She HAS to!

Chapter Two: Farewell to Chipenden

Alice WILL be nearby.  We’re going to get to find out all about Meg and Emily–YAY!–and what could it be that Morgan THINKS the Spook owes him?  Off to Mam and Dad’s!

Chapter Three: Home

Eap!  Now I’m worried.  This doesn’t sound fun.  I’m glad I chose to read this book now.  This is how I feel about the cold weather we’re having here in New Hampshire.  I wonder if Delaney wrote this book in winter?  I hope dad doesn’t die soon … cuz that would be really sad.  Delaney is also setting us up for Alice to do something silly again.

Chapter Four: The Winter House

Wow.  This book is so GOOD!  I’m totally drawn in in the best way!  What’s with Meg?  Is she good or bad?  What’s with Morgan?  Is that who is looking down on the house from above?  Why can’t Tom go to town?  Is the Spook going to be doing the shopping? SO MANY QUESTIONS!

Chapter Five: What Lay Beneath

Hrm.  So Meg’s sister is laying in a SUPER-witch’s pit in the cellar.  Meg might get her memory back … this sounds like a bad combination.  It’s kinda cool that Tom doesn’t have to do the errands all winter back and forth from town … but this snow sounds terrible.  *peers at the piles outside his window and sighs*

Chapter Six: A Nasty Piece of Work

What are you doing to me Delaney?  You make me sad and suspicious of Meg.  You make me feel terrible for Alice, and then you go a pull a final line like that?  Morgan needs a good punch in the nose as well!

Chapter Seven: The Stone Chucker

Good gravy that was awesome!  The ax, the stones, the lighting the tree on fire!  Brilliant!  And ending it with Alice showing up … talk about perfect.  Once again, Delaney manages to side track me, and I totally didn’t see that coming.  I was so sad about Alice’s predicament, I forgot to look for clues!

Chapter Eight: The Stone Chucker’s Return

Poor Spook.  These books are just getting worse and worse for him.  Tom really has his work cut out for him.  At least the boggart is dead.

Chapter Nine: Intimations of Death

Yay, Alice saves the day!  Of course the doctor and nurse were wrong.  There’s TWO more books after this one … he COULDN’T be dead.  Well, I guess he could–but I can’t see how it could get better without him.

Chapter Ten: Bad News

I knew this was going to happen.  I just didn’t think we were going to find out until the end of the book.  I thought the whole adventure would be over the winter, and he’d come back to his father’s grave.  Turns out it’s much sooner.  Way to subvert my expectations, Delaney.  I love what you do to me.

Chapter Eleven: Mam’s Room

That may have been the saddest thing I’ve ever read.  Poor Tom!  He’s smart though, I wonder why Mam left him her room.  There’s probably something in there that’s going to help us.  And I hope Morgan hasn’t stolen Dad’s soul … the title of the American suggests it.  I wonder if we’re going to get to see Mam’s homeland.  That would be … scary.

Chapter Twelve: Necromancy

Jeez.  That chapter could have been the CLIMAX of the book.  I love how Delaney does that.  He brings you to climax after climax, and they only get better throughout the book.  I love this.  Noted.  I can’t wait to see what the Spook has to say about all the magic Morgan just did.  How are they going to save Dad?  Where is Alice?  She’s GOT to be with the Spook.  Or, maybe she’s with Mam.

Chapter Thirteen: Trickery and Betrayal

Had to stop reading to note: Meg just called Tom “Tom” not “Billy.”  Something’s up!

Climax after climax.  Meg has got the Spook imprisoned, and her blood-thirsty sister is on the loose.  Where is Alice?  Will Morgan end up being one to help the Spook?  Hrm.

Chapter Fourteen: Snowbound

You know, I had a sneaking suspicion about the Spook being Morgan’s father when we heard that thing about him always loving Morgan’s mother.  I forgot where that was though … SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED!

This is getting all so complicated.  This is how Delaney is a genius.  He gives us a bite of predictable story, the explodes it in a million directions, making the reader wonder where all the chips are going to fall.  How will Tom defeat Morgan and save his father?  How will they deal with Meg?  How will they rescue the Spook?  “Questions … questions that need answering!”

Chapter Fifteen: Down to the Cellar

Hrm. I’m starting to get suspicious.  Maybe Morgan doesn’t have all the powers Delaney wants us to think he has.  I’m not sure, but Delaney is REALLY pushing this Dad getting tortured thing.  So much so, that I feel like it’s only a distraction from what’s really going on.  Maybe I’ll figure something out when I finish the chapter.

Well, I’d be angry with you too, you dolt!  Ah, I know you’re doing it for your father, but your father is dead.  There’s nothing Morgan could do that could really harm him I don’t think.  Once the Spook is on his feet again, this Morgan shite will be all sorted out.  Come on, Tom.  “Don’t be daft!”  Although, I think binding Meg is a GREAT idea.  Nine out of Ten OR Ten out of Ten.  It’s worth the risk.

Chapter Sixteen: Up to the Attic

I wonder how Tom is going to get out of the cellar.  Maybe Morgan.  I don’t see Alice coming back in the night.  Maybe Mam, but Mam is gone.  Hrm.

Chapter Seventeen: Home Truths

Well, that was unexpected, haha!  The Spook saves the day!  Now all we have left to deal with is Morgan … who is NOT the Spook’s son.  So I guessed wrong.  Delaney did that on purpose.  He’s distracting us from something else.

Chapter Eighteen: The Chapel of the Dead

Tom is caught.  Someone is going to have to save him YET again, haha.  I’m ready to sort out Morgan.  I DON’T think Alice sent him to a trap … it’s not like her.  All the suspicion around Alice is just a red herring.

Chapter Nineteen: The Round Loaf

Nothing new to add.  Golgoth just showed up … MAJOR bad guy, and Tom is all tied up.  Gotta go find out what happens!

Chapter Twenty: Golgoth

Good lord, if it ain’t one thing it’s another.  Now the feral witch Marcia is after him.  Unless … somehow … she’s there to RESCUE Tom … you never know! *shoves nose back in book*

Chapter Twenty-One: The Trap

Hehe! That was an easy guess.  Although, I could have easily been wrong in THESE books.  Delaney fakes me out SO much.  I don’t think Alice is going to be allowed by to Chipenden with Tom and the Spook, but, you never know.  STRANGER things have happened!

Chapter Twenty-Two: For the Best

After this scene I have more hope than ever that Alice will be allowed back with them.  However, there is still some doubt.  I HOPE so!  And what about Mam?  Are we not going to see her at all?  MAYBE I’ll be lucky and get BOTH my wishes in the next and last chapter

Chapter Twenty-Three: Back to Chipenden

YAY! Got BOTH my wishes! w00t!  Haha.  Sorry.  What an interesting ending.  BOTH Alice and Tom are going to do something BIG for the Country.  The way Delaney writes about Tom’s duty to server could almost be used as military propaganda.  I’m really interested in reading the next book now.

The last pages written by “Tom Ward” say something about sorting out 3 covens of (39) witches … could be fun!

Hard Times

Hard Times

by Charles Dickens

Honestly, I picked this book next, because it’s the shortest of the Dickens I have purchased for the project.  Little Dorrit and Bleak House are long books.

Book the First | Sowing

Chapter One: The One Needful Thing

Hah, you’ve got my attention Dickens.  Tell me what you believe are the facts, sir.

Chapter Two: Murdering the Innocents

I see this is going to be a moral fairytale.  I hope there weren’t school masters like this during the industrial revolution.  Dickens definitely has me.  I’m eager to see where this story is going.  This is clearly a story about “fact” versus imagination.

Chapter Three: A Loophole

Wow.  We can tell Mr. Gradgrind doesn’t like his neighbors.  He’s playing off indifferent, but the way Dickens reprises the images of horses and flowers from the previous chapter leads me to think he feels otherwise.  It’s no surprise he finds his children there.  They’re bound to wonder … just as I wonder about Mr. Bounderby.  I wonder what he DOES think, and I hope it’s not as solemn as Mr. Gradgrind suggests.

Also, Sissy Jupe … Signor Jupe … father and daughter?

Chapter Four: Mr. Bounderby

Not only is Mr. Bounderby not nice; he is also creeptastic.

Chapter Five: The Keynote

The sad part is, out of these two Mr. Bounderby seems to be the leader.  Mr. Gradgrind is very much a sycophant to him.  I think they’re both in for a wild ride though.  We’re about to meet Signor Jupe!

Chapter Six: Sleary’s Horsemanship

It’s a shame Sleary isn’t going to be in the whole book.  It’s sad that Sissy’s father ran away “for her own good.” I’m interested in seeing what happens to Sissy–especially considering it’s the name of a very important character in OUR stories.  The only difference being Dickens’ Sissy is short for Cecilia, our Sissy is short for Carissa.  I’m wondering Dickens, what exactly does Sissy have waiting for her at this dreadful school she’s now tied to?

Chapter Seven: Mrs. Sparsit

This chapter makes it seem like a female version of “Great Expectations.”  I’d also put this book on the shelf right next to Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451.  What Dickens is talking about in this book, trying to kill imagination, definitely something I identify with, and enjoy reading about.  I’m being inspired by Dickens now.  I have an idea.  I must throw it by Rhiannon!  That, and keep reading …

Chapter Eight: Never Wonder

I’m frowning, but I’m smiling at the same time, because I know Dickens is only setting us up emotionally.  Must.  Keep.  Reading.

Chapter Nine: Sissy’s Progress

I feel so sad for Sissy, and I wonder what Louisa is going to do with this information.  Clearly she is effected by Sissy’s imagination, and the way she recounts the events of her life up to this point.  It’s not all fact.  There is emotion, heart, love in the whole of it.  This probably won’t end well for either of them.  I wonder which side Tom (the younger) will choose?  Oh, wait, I’m not supposed to wonder.

Chapter Ten: Stephen Blackpool

Holy moly, Dickens.  You managed to inspire me in two directions with that chapter, once for the Taftkan Materials and once for the Dickens Project.  You, sir, are a genius.  You also managed to surprise me at the end of this chapter.  Not only did I love the awkward relationship Blackpool has with Rachael, but who in the world was that alcoholic woman that so overpowered him in the end?  And does this tie into the rest of the plot?

Chapter Eleven: No Way Out

The drunk woman is Blackpool’s wife, and he’s gone to Bounderby looking for information on how to divorce her.  Alas, there seems to be no hope–without a TON of money–for Stephen and Rachael to ever have a chance to be together.  Although, I’m not sure Rachael WANTS to be with Stephen.  Unless she was just being distant for propriety’s sake.  It does seem like he’s reading into her words where there is nothing to read into … Dickens has said as much.

Chapter Twelve: The Old Woman

That was surely Bounderby’s mother who walked with Blackpool back to the mill.  Dickens is going to make it so I don’t get any sleep tonight I see.

Chapter Thirteen: Rachael

That was an unexpected turn of events.  Lots of interesting dreaming going on here.  I like it.

Chapter Fourteen: The Great Manufacturer

Oh. My. God.  Louisa is going to marry Bounderby?  What!

Chapter Fifteen: Father and Daughter

Come on Louisa!  I thought you were making a turn around.  You know, rebelling against your father and his messed up way of teaching you guys.  You were starting to get an imagination.  It leaked out everywhere in this chapter.  Don’t ignore or mistreat Sissy.  It’s not right.  She doesn’t understand why you’d do such a thing as marry Mr. Bounderby.  Neither do I, for that matter.  I get it; I understand the logic behind it.  It’s just that … he’s such a jerk, and that DOES matter.

Chapter Sixteen: Husband and Wife

I’d have to disagree with you, Tom.  Yes, things could, indeed, be jollier.  Loo has made the biggest mistake of her life, and now we reap the benefits in this beautifully told story.  Dickens, I can almost hear you whispering in my ear … the way you write.

Book the Second | Reaping

Chapter One: Effects in the Bank

I couldn’t find a clear definition of the word coriolanian online.  The closest I could find was on Dictionary.Com and it was Coriolanus, who was a “Roman military hero” from b. c. huz-buh-chungle … Also a play by Shakespeare.

So, who was that Mrs. Sparsit just saw?  Was it a good idea to give him Mr. Bounderby’s address?  Was he really sent by Mr. Gradgrind, and why was Mrs. Sparsit perturbed after he left?

Chapter Two: Mr. James Harthouse

He’s a rich kid who is looking for a place in the world?  That’s what I got out of the chapter.

Chapter Three: The Whelp

Well, it is clear that Dickens doesn’t like how Tom has turned out.  Jaded, in a way.  He thinks he’s discovered life, but Dickens describes him as a very unhappy person because of his breeding.

I have to say, I am liking Dickens in a way I never expected.  Usually “classics” have a certain feel when I read them.  Sometimes I have to be in a specific mood to “read up,” but the way Dickens writes … I can see everything.  It’s like reading something that was published this year.  I totally recommend this book already!

Chapter Four: Men and Brothers

What in the world did Stephen Blackpool do?  Did I miss something?  They said something about him not following regulations, and it sounded like he was late for work a few times–maybe everyday–but that would be because of his wife and also why he doesn’t want to talk about it at the assembly.  What could Mr. Bounderby want with him as well?

Chapter Five: Men and Masters

Poor Stephen!  What’s with this sudden turn of events Dickens?  I didn’t see this coming!  These chapters must have thrown your readers for a loop when they first read them in 1854.  It’s been a while since we heard about Blackpool, and all-of-a-sudden he is blacklisted.

Chapter Six: Fading Away

And there goes Stephen.  I don’t remember Louisa telling him not to join the union.  This was all … so sudden.  I wonder if we’re going to see him again.  Dickens has a knack for cutting things short and tragic.  Alas, this also makes his happier endings all the more worthwhile.

Chapter Seven: Gunpowder

What, exactly, is Harthouse up to?  It can’t be good.  It seems like he’s playing with Lousia and Tom, but why?  What is his angle?

Chapter Eight: Explosion

Tom BETTER not let Stephen take the fall for the bank robbery.  It was Tom that did it, it HAS to be … and I bet Harthouse has something to do with it.

Chapter Nine: Hearing the Last of It

Awe!  It was IMAGINATION Mrs. Gradgrind!  That’s what Mr. Gradgrind forgot to teach his kids!  Oh, this chapter was sad.  I am glad to see Sissy again, though.  And I’m happy to see that she’s had some impact on the youngest Gradgrind.

Chapter Ten: Mrs. Sparsit’s Staircase

Mrs. Sparsit is trying to topple Louisa.  Well, we knew Mrs. Sparsit felt slighted by Louisa’s marrying Mr. Bounderby … and I half expected this, but EVERYTHING seems to be working against the Gradgrind kids.  I surmise Dickens is trying to tell us that less the imagination, human existence is hellish.

Chapter Eleven: Lower and Lower

Clearly Mrs. Sparsit has an imagination.  She’s not using it for GOOD right now though!  It’s almost like she’s working a spell.  Single-minded to her “task” of seeing Louisa fall from Mr. Bounderby’s good graces.  It has been established that divorce is a possibility for those well endowed within this story.  Having Louisa take her place must have been the straw that broke Mrs. Sparsit’s back.

Louisa didn’t ACTUALLY do anything but accept Bounderby’s proposal.  It’s not like she was TRYING to cheese Mrs. Sparsit off.  It is stupid–yet strikingly human–that Louisa is having an affair with Harthouse.  However, I’m not entirely convinced she’s not just being USED by him.  I’m pretty sure he’s manipulating Tom too.  What’s with this guy?

Chapter Twelve: Down

Now THAT was completely unexpected.  Of all the places I expected her to go, it wasn’t home.  I’m glad to see Mr. Gradgrind was finally saved from his own mind.

Book the Third | Garnering

Chapter One: Another Thing Needful

Sissy is definitely going to be some sort of hero in this book.  She’s going to help set Louisa right.  Maybe she’ll make ALL of the Gradgrinds happy.

Chapter Two: Very Ridiculous

Hrm.  Well, go Sissy for getting rid of Harthouse.  Though, I’m not sure he’s gone for good in the book.  He deserves to feel the way he feels, I think.  I’m still suspicious about him.  He’s GOT to have something to do with Tom and the robbery at the bank.

Chapter Three: Very Decided

I’m not TOO sad about this.  Louisa never would have been happy with Bounderby … even if she COULD be with Harthouse.  Not that I want her to be, with what I think went down.  Mrs. Sparsit finally got some of her own back.  She jumped to entirely the wrong conclusion when she lost Louisa.  The plan backfired.  I guess it could have gone worse though.  Bounderby could have fired her as well.

Chapter Four: Lost

Okay, so Stephen Blackpool is coming back.  Will he and Rachel EVER end up together?  Louisa just helped clear his name, but he’s still got to show himself.  Was it Tom after all who committed the crime?  Will he ever confess it?

Chapter Five: Found

That’s interesting.  I mean, I guessed that was Bounderby’s mother, but I was thrown off when he said his parents were dead and he was brought up by a evil, drunken grandmother.  It’s hilarious that Bounderby got caught in the huge lie … and sad that he’s blocked out his mother from his life.  I think this might be the end of Mrs. Sparsit though.

Chapter Six: The Starlight

*BIG frown*  Stephen Blackpool fell through a pit in the ground and died holding Rachel’s hand.  He knew it was Tom, or at least he suspected.  Louisa and Sissy suspect.  Come on Tom, don’t bury and innocent man with your lie.  It’s not right.

Chapter Seven: Whelp-Hunting

All that just to end the chapter with Tom getting caught after all.  Dickens seems to have been up on the old tricks of modern writers.  Suspense is his best friend.  Especially in this book.  I was happy to see Sleary again, but sometimes it’s hard to read his dialogue.

Chapter Eight: Philosophical

Okay, so Tom gets away.  I don’t know if I like Tom getting away.  He DESERVED to be caught … especially after what ended up happening to Blackpool.  Poor Rachel.  Dickens seems to have let Tom off the hook due to the way he was brought up.  I heartily disagree with that choice.

This may be an insight into the morals of the English during the Industrial Revolution.  Tom is pardoned by Dickens because of his upbringing, therefore on the side of nurturing rather than nature for the source of your character in life.  If you consider Ebenezer Scrooge, you can come to the same conclusion with the shadows of his past.

Sleary was a good man for doing what he did for Tom and the Gradgrinds though.  It’s sad that Sissy never reunites with her father in the story, but we know he still lives … Sleary’s seeing the dog indicates the possibility.  Maybe it would come in the future.

Chapter Nine: Final

Haha!  I never DIS-liked Mrs. Sparsit, but she did get what she was asking for.  All that determination to topple Louisa … it wasn’t right.  It’s funny, because if she’d just had patience, Louisa would have made everything better on her own, and Mrs. Sparsit could have resumed her old place in Mr. Bounderby’s home.  Alas, she put her foot in her mouth one too many times, and it was her undoing.

I’m glad Sissy had kids, and Louisa became like a loving aunt to them.  Tom got WAY better than he deserved, and Mr. Bounderby never changed ’til the day he died.  Not surprising.

This was a great choice for my first full length Dickens in this project.  I heartily recommend it.  Of course, I’ll probably recommend many Dickens-es this year!  The story was a lot simpler than I thought it might be.  I was looking for things in many places–and some of those things Dickens honestly says will never be explained.  That’s my problem with Dickens.  I love him to death, but I hate it when he says something, but never explains it or follows through with it.  At least he acknowledges it though.  It’s not like he forgot about it, and just left it unfinished.  It’s very real, the things in life that never get explained, but this is a novel, by god, and it SHOULD be explained.  Haha.  Okay, I’m going to end this final rant here and post this baby.  I really did enjoy the book!

Everything I Know About Writing, I Learned from America’s Next Top Model

OUR FIRST GUEST POST!

Today’s post is brought to you by Liz, a regular in these parts.  She pointed out to me that Reality T.V. can do more than kill brain-cells, and, despite my misgivings, she makes GREAT points about writing I am unable to ignore.  If you like this article, you can read more from Liz at her blog: Jinky Smithers

A few months ago, I made a flip comment about how reality TV was as good a writing workshop as any.  After the laughter had died down, Joey asked if I would like to do a guest post on the matter, and I agreed.  After all, how hard could it be, right?

Turns out, it was more difficult than I thought it would be.  Not because there wasn’t enough material to pull from–60% of the programming in the United States alone is reality-based–but because there was too much.  I ended up with a list spanning 8 reality TV shows and 6 single-spaced pages.  Way too heavy for a simple guest post.

Then one day, while watching a marathon of America’s Next Top Model, Cycle 2, it hit me.  There was really no need to venture into the obscure and at times dehumanizing worlds of Project Runway, Top Chef, Shear Genius, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, American Idol, Survivor, and My Fair Brady.  When it comes to writing, America’s Next Top Model has it all, with the added fierceness of Tyra’s weave.

Here’s my top ten:

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”

Who said it:  Robyn Manning, Cycle 1.  When Jay Manuel announced to the last four girls they would be posing nude for a jewelry ad, Robin pitched the mother of all spazzes.  Her resistance to bare all cost her a spot as a finalist, but at least she had her self-respect.  Well, most of it, anyway.

What I learned:  Unlike homework and finals, peer pressure doesn’t just end the moment you graduate high school.  Even in the publishing industry, there’s never a short supply of people wanting you to change who you are, what you write, or how you write it.  Sticking to your guns when it comes to your vision may cost you representation or even a book deal, but what good are either of those things if you’re not proud of your work?

“This is my signature walk, and it’s what’s going to make me famous.”

Who said it:  Camille McDonald, Cycle 2.  Oh, Camille.  Camille, Camille, Camille.  This Cycle 2 third runner-up had it all, including an ego the size of Europe.  But when she refused to satisfy a client’s needs by insisting that Her Way was The Right Way, Tyra & Co. sent her packing.

What I learned:  Having confidence in your ability to write a story is important, but also important are humility and the ability to take constructive criticism.  It won’t matter how many doors to the publishing industry open for you if your ego is too large to fit through them.  No one wants to work with a drama queen.

“It’s good to have family around, even if it’s not your own.”

Who said it:  Amanda Swafford, Cycle 3.  Cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model was one of the most drama-filled ones to date.  So when Tyra took the girls to dinner with her family, it was nice to see the girls (Amanda included) not at each others’ throats for a whole five minutes.

What I learned:  For most of us, the writing process is a solitary one.  If we’re lucky, we have the full support of our loved ones to push us forward.  But when that isn’t possible, it’s just as good to have the support of a critique group or writing partner. After all, it’s far less easy to throw in the towel when you know there’s someone out there who wants you to succeed as badly as you do.

“Take responsibility for yourself, because no one’s going to take responsibility for you.”

Who said it:  Tyra Banks.  In one of the most surprising eliminations in Top Model history, Tyra unveiled the last photograph as a blank one, sending not one, but two girls home.  While Cycle 4’s Rebecca let the tears roll, Tiffany, the other eliminated contestant, laughed it off, sending Tyra into a rage.

What I learned:  There are going to be times in your writing career when things don’t go as you plan.  Deals go sour, agents pass on representation, and reviews can be scathing.  When this happens, it’s OK to be bummed, but it’s not OK to play the blame game.  Not every agent who passes on your manuscript is an idiot; not every editor who can’t get support of his house is incompetent; not every reader who doesn’t like your book is jealous of your talent.  The world is not out to get you.  So take responsibility for yourself and for your work, and next time, try harder.

“Don’t get it twisted.”

Who said it:  Ebony Taylor, Cycle 5.  Ebony slid into the semi-finals after impressing Tyra with her desire to model and this, her motto.

What I learned: I don’t know one person who started writing because they thought it was a quick and easy way to fame and notoriety, but I know a lot of people who ended up there, regardless.  Nowadays, writing a good book isn’t always enough to get it sold, and writers do have to put forth more effort when it comes to marketing.  But while chasing the white rabbit of popularity into the black hole of social networking may secure you a gazillion Facebook friends, it does little to help move your story along or expand your skills as a storyteller.  Maybe a better motto for writers would be “Write first, Tweet later, and don’t get it twisted.”

“I feel like a penis with ears.”

Who said it:  Kathy Hoxit, Cycle 6.  Kathy, a country bumpkin whose vibrant personality couldn’t save her from being the first contestant eliminated, did kind of look like a penis with ears when the girls posed for a bald photoshoot in Cycle 6.  But at least she didn’t cry about it!

What I learned:  No matter what you write or how long you’ve been doing it, you’re bound to hit patches where you feel like a stupid, talentless penis with ears.  When that happens, you can either let it break you down, or you can do as Tyra suggests and own your fierceness, flaws and all.

“I am the undiscovered supermodel.”

Who said it:  Jade Cole, Cycle 6.  Ah, Jade.  The girl who learned nothing because she thought she knew everything.  Arrogant beyond words, she seemed to believe her failed attempts at modeling had nothing to do with her attitude and everything to do with…well, she didn’t know, exactly.  For nine weeks, Top Model viewers were treated to Jade’s trademark narcissism, her Jedi mind-tricking of fellow contestant Gina, and her vehement refusal to accept criticism, constructive or otherwise.  In the end, it was her aversion to taking much-needed advice that ended her stint on Top Model, and no one (except for Jade, herself) was sad to see her go.

What I learned:  The Story of Jade serves double-duty in regards to writing.  Not only does it reinforce the importance of not letting one’s ego get in the way of progressing forward, but it also provides a crash course in toxic people.  If you find yourself in close proximity to someone who overcomes her insecurities by preying on yours, it’s best to put some distance between you before she gets into your head and fills it with nonsense.

“You didn’t commit.”

Who said it:  Tyra Banks.  Anchal Joseph from Cycle 7 was often cited as being the most beautiful girl in the group.  Too bad she was too insecure to see it.  Time and again, her defeatist attitude got the best of her, and after running offstage during an impromptu posing challenge, the judges got rid of The Girl Who Wouldn’t Commit.

What I learned:  Compelling stories are all about believability, and believability is all about commitment.  Readers can sense hesitation in a story, and that hesitation can make or break a reader’s suspension of belief.  It’s normal to sometimes be hung up on a scene, a character, or even a plot, but as a writer, it’s your job to reconcile your uncertainty in a way that furthers the story along.  When you go for it, go all the way.  Because if you don’t believe it, neither will anyone else.

“Just ’cause.”

Who said it:  Diana Zalewski, Cycle 8. Diana was one of two plus-sized models that cycle–a first in Top Model history.  Her pictures may have been less than stellar, but it was her attitude that delivered the final blow.  When Jay Manuel asked her why she was still in the competition, Diana didn’t know, and neither did anyone else.

What I learned:  As important as it is to know what you want, it’s just as important to know why you want it.  Purpose is the engine that propels you toward your goals.  Without it, you won’t get very far.  Or as Tyra once put it, “You have to want it.  No one can want it for you more than you want it for yourself.”  Word.

And last, but not least….

“People don’t like frailty; they like vulnerability.  There’s a subtle difference between those words.”

Who said it:  Mr. Jay.  Though Mr. Jay isn’t known for his memorable quotes, this one–in reference to Cycle 12’s Marjorie, whom the judges affectionately(?) referred to as the Hunchback of Notre Dame–is a keeper.

What I learned:  Character is the heart and soul of story.  The more human the characters, the more deeply a reader bonds with them.  But as Mr. Jay said, there’s a fine line between “vulnerable” and “frail.” Weak characters make for weak books.  After all, who cares about the plot if the protagonist is Too Stupid to Live?

OK, that’s it for me!  Thanks to Joey and Rhiannon for letting me hijack their blog, and remember, writing isn’t all about how-tos and classes and workshops–it’s about life experience, too.  Just because it’s not your life experience doesn’t mean you can’t use it.

Ciao!

Again, if you like this article, you can read more from Liz at her blog: Jinky Smithers.  I’ll sure be checking it out!   Already subscribed.

Plum Spooky

Okay, so this isn’t exactly a commentary.  I didn’t think I needed to do another Stephanie Plum full length.  You’ve read one, you’ve read them all.  You read these books for the fun!

I do have to say this one WAS much more fun than Fearless Fourteen and Finger Lickin’ Fifteen–by far.  Of course, there were still far to many fart jokes.  What’s with that?  Has that always been there, and I just not notice?

I only have a few complaints about this book.  Stephanie doesn’t seem to be in any legitimate danger anymore.  Evanovich isn’t even going through the trouble of having her get RESCUED anymore … she’s just escaping.  There was no serious Grandma Mazur time.  And she totally set us up to duke it out with Wulf, and he just poofed.

Although, the book seems like a good platform for the planned Diesel Series to jump off of.  I can smell the ideas cooking in the last two chapters of the book.  YES, p-uh-lease!  I’d LOVE to read a Diesel spin-off series!

The Sound of Music | Key to World Peace

There is an occult magic in this world so rare and precious it is little heard of today.  Uses for this magic include taming wild beasts, a fast-track cure for the common cold, and will (undoubtedly) be used to usher in world peace.  It is a well kept secret, but I’m prepared to share it with you all today.  That secret is the voice of Julie Andrews.

Most of us have heard at least one Andrews song in our lifetimes.  I’d even venture to say 90% of those songs are from The Sound of Music or Mary Poppins.  It is my opinion there is nothing Andrews’ voice can’t cure–especially choosing from these sources.  I was thinking about writing this post when my sister posted this video on Facebook, thus reinforcing my point:

The way the people react at seeing these dancers just coming out and doing their thing … there is such diversity–and just joy.  My day was made when I saw this video.  It’s evidence that the spirit of Andrews and her music is still strong in the mind of the world!

Taking a leaf from the Jedi Warrior’s Handbook, the military should play THIS at all the “bad guys” of the world!  Soften them up, lighten their hearts, and just plain get along.

*sigh*  I realize I’m dreaming big here, but “wouldn’t it be loverly?”  Take a moment and dream it with me.  Start singing your favorite Julie Andrews song, and do something nice for someone today.  It can even be from her other material!  There are TONS of GREAT songs in Victor/Victoria and Thoroughly Modern Millie and My Fair Lady and … *goes on ad nauseum*

*EDIT*

Alright, I found something else (of course).  If all the above videos have not made you happy, then perhaps this one may.  This features another one of my favorite actors from childhood, Gene Kelly.  Thanks, Mom!

Hotdogs, the Adjective

If you are not yet acquainted with Eddie Izzard, watch this video:

In celebration of this BRILLIANT joke, I’ve decided to “officially” classify hotdogs as an adjective.  I already use it frequently, and now I’ll have a frame of reference for all those who are foozled by my use of the common noun as such.

On Progress

The real intention of this blog was to chat about the progress we’ve been making on the book.  It’s been, well, hotdogs!  It’s amazing and a half to the square root of pi.

Learning about yourself is a tricky thing.  There have been many bumps in the road for us, but we’ve taken them on one by one.  The first one being the fact that we can’t rush the process.  Oh it would be nice if Rhiannon and I could put this book on the fast track, but the more we try to do it the more evident it becomes that we can’t.

We’ve set out to write a great–if not THE great–American Fantasy of our generation.

A Dream Longstanding

Looking back on my life, I can see how destiny was pushing me in this direction.  I was a sophomore in Lowell High School and there was nothing I wanted to do more than write.  I wrote short stories, poem, I even had a couple ideas kicking for a novel (fantasy, of course).  I was a voracious reader and my best friend was the librarian.

The only problem was, I couldn’t finish writing many of the things I started.  Sometimes it was hard to GET started in the first place.  So, I asked a good friend, Rachel (my first “wife” and fellow author), to write a novel series with me.  My goal was to write something epic–Tolkien in complexity.  I was even attempting to invent my own language.

Admittedly, most of the work I was doing I was hardly interested in.  I assumed, because that’s the way other authors came up with their magical worlds, that was the way I had to do it as well.  Needless to say, all this work go on Rachel’s nerves, and we fought about essential plot points so much that we worked together less than a month before decided it had been a bad idea.  Then I met Rhiannon …

Two Peas in a Pod

Okay, so it was a couple years later that I met Rhiannon.  I had discovered my sexuality, lost a bit of interest in writing, and was finally putting myself out there.  Up to this point I’d been a rather shy kid.  High school really transformed my personality.  It taught me courage, and how to be a comedian.

Then, this annoying kid in French class pressured me to join the Spindles (the Lowell High Show Choir).  You see, they were badly in need of male vocalists.  Male bodies is what they were after really.  I didn’t even have to audition to get in.  I was just expected to show up at the first rehearsal the next year.  Thank god for Rich!

Oddly enough, I’d spent the entire previous year with Rhiannon and didn’t even know it.  She shared that same French class with me.  Of course, she was on the other side of the classroom with her nose in a book 90% of the time.  She got in trouble once or twice for giggling out loud, but the teacher hardly noticed.

Rhiannon was a soprano in the show choir, and I ended up a tenor.  We ended up hitting it off rather quickly, once in the chorus room–to the point where we had to switch seats in order to sit next to each other.  We’d annoyed those between us to the extent that they were more than willing to move aside.

It wasn’t long before I asked Rhiannon to try writing with me.  She was wary, and didn’t jump.  Not that I blame her.  Writing with someone else is a lot of work.  Two egos to contend with, and we both knew mine was strong (still is).

A Pregnant Pause

Later, she went to college.  I tried to go to college, but found the environment wasn’t what I wanted.  Even going to multiple schools.  I just wanted to write, but I still had a hard time finishing anything of great length.

So, what did I do?  I joined the military.  It wasn’t I was half way across the world did I have the determination to pick up the pen and finally finish something.  After I got out of the Marines, in January of 2007, it took me four months to complete the writing of the most melodramatic family drama the world has ever seen.  There was no magic, at least nothing that could be classified as fantasy.  However, I was proud.  The 512 page, 100,000+ word novel was a completed rough draft of an entire book.

Destiny’s Inspiration

Rhiannon, being the GREAT friend she is, was honest about the book.  She hated it.  Even I admit, the thing is so sticky, the pages hardly turn.  It’s hard to believe it was the source for what we have now.  I took a risk, and asked her to write with me again.

Not without hesitation did she accept, but we promised each other not to take the project too seriously.  If it was putting strain on our friendship, it would have to end.  Turns out, it could be the best thing that happened to us.  It’s brought us to a point where we’re co-creating a world that’s always existed under the surface of our lives and it finally seeing the light of day.

I’m very pleased with our work.  And I apologize for not rereading this before posting, but family is arriving and I want to get this up.  Enjoy the video.  I’ll be back tomorrow with more to chat about, no doubt.  Maybe I’ll even tell a Taftkan tale.

Bouncing Balls | A Treatise on Testicles

Yester-morning I awoke to find a guest post on a blog I read regularly, The World’s Strongest Librarian, and I was a mite disturbed.  The guest post was by Larry Brooks, another blogger whom I have yet to really read (but I went over to his site, and it looked pretty cool).  His post was called An Ode to Dangling Body Parts, and I thought it was unjust indeed.

The subject of the post, female breasts and male testicles (as opposed to male breasts and female testicles … eww).  I completely support the female breasts!  I agree with everything he had to say about them, which I find isn’t too uncommon among gay men.

No, what I had a problem with was how he treated the topic of testicles–balls, from here on out.  Brooks had next to nothing good to say about them.  Accused them of being ugly hairy masses that bring tears to the eye and a bad taste to the pallet.  I completely disagree–and for NON-SEXUAL reasons.

A Brief (Selective) History of Balls in Art

I’m not the only one in history to think that the male form–all parts included–is beautiful.  The Greeks were MAJOR supporters of balls!  Research shows (this link is a PDF) that everything was meticulously carved into proportions in Greek sculpture–including the size and position of the balls.

The only “injustice” the Greeks may have done to balls was make the right one bigger than the left one in many cases, which isn’t the case in reality.  The Greeks also believed male sperm came from the right ball, and female sperm the left, so that could explain it.

Balls in a Beautiful Bouquet

The Greeks are at it again here, but this time it’s in words.  The Greek word for balls is orchis, and if you don’t recognize the cognate this word has in English, then look at the picture below for a clue!

Aren’t they beautiful? I thought so too, and so did the horticulturist who named them.  Before people finally settled on calling them orchids, this exotic flower was often called “bollocks stones,” “dogs stones,” and other similar variations.  Bollocks, as we know, is the British English term for balls, and we’ve all called them “stones” at least once in our lifetimes.

Why? You ask.  Even I have thought the petals cast images in the mind of FEMALE genitalia, not male!  Well, the roots look strikingly like a set of furry balls.  I think that’s the dog’s bollocks!

Lord of the Balls

The last way I can show how balls are beautiful, and are praised all around us, is taking you into religion.  Oh yes, that dark and sometimes dreary subject has something to say about them–you bet–and it’s not bad either.  Well, depending on how you look at it.

Have you ever folded your hands in prayer like this?  With steeple hands, not your fingers interlaced.  Do you know why we pray this way?  Historian Dr. Rex Curry thinks he has the answer!

It’s a Jewish practice linked with Yarek Oaths.  Yarek Oaths are seen all over the Christian Bible, especially in Genesis.  In these oaths, the one doing the swearing puts his hand on the “inner thigh” of the person they’re swearing to.  Jacob’s oath to his father, Abraham, is a Yarek Oath (Gen 47:29).

Dr. Curry has found, with his research, that “inner thigh” may have been a Hebrew euphemism for balls.  They did this, because it was a way of acknowledging their circumcision–which was the symbol of the Covenant the Hebrew people made with God.

It is from these Yarek Oaths that the tradition of folding hands to pray came about.  In doing so, the Hebrews may have believed they were acknowledging God’s circumcision, and his Covenant with THEM.  So just think about it, every time you pray with steepled hands, you’re cupping the Lord’s balls!

In Conclusion

I think I’ve made it clear how great balls are.  For those of you, like Brooks–and even Rhiannon–who still think their just ugly, I implore you to give them another chance.  They’re everywhere, sensitive, and need to be handled with care.

Think about it; they gave you life.  I’m not saying you have to like them, but they deserve as much praise as breasts.  Balls are great.  They can be fun to play with–you should try it sometime … whether your own set, or the set of a consenting adults’ (as long as you are a consenting adult as well, haha).  You never know, you might find you actually like them!

Love Never Dies | The Phantom of the Opera Sequel

In last night’s post, I could hardly believe it when I heard a whisper of there being a sequel in the works to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s The Phantom of the Opera.  Indeed, I prayed that it wasn’t true.

This morning I had to find out for certain, and spent my first waking hour looking up all I could find on the subject.

An Understandable Doubt

Remakes and sequels seem to be the way of it now-a-days.  All anyone is concerned with is how much money can be milked out of any one project.  I understand this, I just wish they’d leave some of the great things alone.

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d have to worry about Phantom suffering from this plague.  It just isn’t done on the stage.  I thought it was a joke when I first heard about Phantom II.

Then I found Love Never Dies, the official website of the Phantom sequel.  Not only was this serious, but Webber was behind it himself!  I thought, how could he do this to his fans?  I also remembered how tragically the 2004 film version of Phantom failed to live up to the play and Webber’s involvement in it’s demise, realizing that no, it wasn’t so far fetched.  Webber was certainly capable of such a foolish enterprise.

Love Never Dies

This was one of the first things I found this morning:

First off, I want to disagree with Webber here.  The ending of Phantom isn’t unsatisfactory in any way!  Sure, all us phans wish Phantom won Christine over Raoul, but their story isn’t boring.  This is a lame reason for wanting a sequel.  Christine is supposed to be with Raoul.  By all accounts, the Phantom is barking mad.  He’s just a hot and sexy maniac.  Like Charles Manson.

So, the premise!  I’m pleased and vexed (because that means I can’t complain about it) to say that it is more than plausible.  Set in Coney Island ten years after the events of Phantom, a new attraction is about to open: Phantasma.  Christine has married Raoul, and they have a son, Gustave.  Christine is still singing, and receives and anonymous invitation to headline this new attraction in the U. S.

Couple the above with Til I Hear You Sing, Phantom’s first song in the show, and you’ve got me on the edge of my seat, waiting for more.  All of a sudden, the idea doesn’t seem too scary anymore.  I’m intrigued.  Ramin Karimloo, who is currently playing Phantom in the West End, will be playing the same in the new production.  If you listened to the song, then you also know why I’m excited.  This guy has SUCH a great voice.  Sierra Boggess will be playing Christine, she’s also played the part in Phantom.  I know her from the original Broadway cast of Disney’s The Little Mermaid, where she played Ariel.  Her pipes aren’t to shabby either.I can’t believe I have to wait until March to hear the rest of the score.  *sigh*  We’ll resume this discussion then.

A Theory

So, Rhiannon read this before posting, and still isn’t convinced of the premise.  After writing this article, I can understand how anyone (who isn’t me) wouldn’t buy it.  I’ve had a long-standing, but little talked about, obsession with Coney Island.  It was the epitome of the creepy freak show carnival.  I’m sad that not much of it is left, and I can’t wait to see what Webber et al have done with the material.